January 29, 2005 A new beginning!

THEBIGKOOK, fed up with all 'Nofre's problems, went to Home Depot,
hired eight guestworkers, purchased $400.00 in plants and groundcover for
his new found crew for planting at Bldg. #4, complimenting the beach's rebirth
following a treacherous winter during ongoing mudslides, confusion, train
wrecks, silt, overflowing public latrines, and the muddy dirt road. BK and
the illegals chose flats of daffodil's, lilacs, philodendron, baby breath,
periwinkle, golden rod, daisies, marigolds, and lavender orchids. By 10:00
AM the illegals had everything in the ground. District Supervisor Otto
Krueger was very impressed saying it was about time someone took more
than a casual interest in their beach. I say congratulations to BK and his
illegal guestworkers, you did yourselves proud.

Written by Emilio Zapata

January 28, 2005 Rush to judgment!

Now the north end of Old 'Nofre is ticked because of Juan Manuel
Alvarez' misfortune takes away from the Point's problems that are
mounting day by day. Ranger Dairywimple, once a Railroad dick
at Metrolink in Oceanside, offered his feelings about Juan's
pedictiment Wednesday morning. Apparently, Juan became
disoriented while looking for a taco wagon located on the wet
tracks behind the old Price Club, a.k.a. Costco. Juan traversed
his way until his Bronco became lodged in the switch control,
locked up, unable to move neither backwards nor forward. Ranger
asked how many "suicidal drivers do you see walking around
East Glendale at 6:00 AM. Dairywimple said Juan was a victim
of circumstance because of news directors and city editors judgmental
opinions.

Written by Ranger I.L.Fryem.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

January 26, 2005 Three strikes and you're out.

Remember the name Juan Manuel Alvarez. Remember George W.
Bush's Guest Worker Amnesty program. Twelve dead on Metrolink
pile-up in Glendale CA caused by one of Bush's illegal immigrants here
in the USA awaiting amnesty. Yes, Juan Manuel Alvarez of Compten
CA. Thirty two dead Marines in Iraq because Bush wants the world to
know he's boss. Juan Manuel Alvarez 12! George W. Bush 32! Wake
me when it's over.

Written by Ira Dunno
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

January 26, 2005 Futility!

It ain't gonna work. no way. Someone in the USA should have
his head examined for murder! Iraq is half a world away, who
cares? That is their style of living. Elections are for schitt. A
vehicle was T-Boned in Glendale CA because an illegal endorsed
by Bush's guest worker program couldn't read English.
Bush has killed more people with his decisions than Ted
Kennedy has with his Chrysler.

Written by Jorge Morales
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

January 25, 2005 You elected him.

There may be a remake of the movie, "Dumber Than Dumb", about
=Dubyah= and his anti abortion program, and his efforts to get
as many mexicanos in this country as he can before he bows out.
Such a goddam humanitarian he is. Phuck San Fernando, save Baghdad.
Anti-abortion equals more babies, open border guest workers equals
mas, mas, y mucho mas immigraciones. Put another way, in one hole
out the other. They've annexed CA, next the Great Plains. "I want
a driver's license, and I want it ahorra, pronto!" Bush's dream is to be
the wonderful person bringing elections to Iraq (like who really gives
a schitt). This just in: Von's, Albertson, and Ralphs just lost a
$22,000,000.00 to the illegal immigrants lawsuit for paying janitors
reduced wages (which is $5.50 more per hour than they make in meiuco.
Give ém an inch they'll want a mile.

Written by Bessie May Kewloo
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

January 24, 2005 EGADS!

Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam made the find of the century, they
discovered a Jivaro Shrunken Head in the vicinity of the old cave site,
half way up the bluff at the Shular burial grounds. They feel confident
the shrunken skull is of an original Óld 'Nofre Hall of Famer not unlike
Barney Wilkes our first President of the Club. Malcom Gault-Williams
from Legendary Surfers Society was called to verify the miniature
cranium for authenticity. There have been so many bad vibe
scenarios including deadly landslides, corpses smothered in landslide mud,
Larry the Sloth's gonad recovery, more paddle-outs than usual, Ranger
terminations, and now this, the shrunken head discovery. All in all,
it doesn't look like a good year for the Old 'Nofre regulars, especially
if the tiny head turns out to be that of Dr.Wilkes.

Written by R. Igor Mortis.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

January 23, 2005 One never knows.

Just days ago, I received email from a surfboard rider in Santa
Barbara vicinity, indicating people living in La Conchita weren't
right. I viewed photos from '95 and 2005, he wasn't kidding, and
there's guaranteed to be more problems as the renters move back in.
A paddle-out was held for the slide victims yesterday, it was so sad
unfamiliar people were sucked into the horrible quick-mud only to
be deprived of a full and rewarding life. There may be underlying reason
rents were so cheap that close to the ocean, shameful the deceased learned
the hard way. If you were offered a house on Beach Rd. for $259.00
a month would you fall for it. I just dunno.

Written by Hairy Beard.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

January 23, 2005 Eureka I Have Found It!

During a routine shorebreak inspection yesterday, it appears
Ranger Ephriam stumbled upon Larry the Sloth's missing gonad
loose in the tidehole. Btw Larry's carcass washed ashore during
the monsoon 10 days ago, and it was missing a gonad. High tide will
occur much of the month of February, with a full moon blessing
the grunion season, peaking Super Bowl Sunday so it looks like a fish
fry with a full kegger on order. As repatriations for the week long
soaking, our State will allow free passage through the kiosk free.
Have a nice holiday all.

Written by Conan Gonad
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES