Beware Toilet Bldg.#4. Tonight, Saturday, a massive
explosion will rip through the hollow concrete block
building in an effort to unplug the giant clump centered
halfway down the sewer pipe. A SOSC volunteer will
place a makeshift wick to create a fissure, expecting
an ear-shattering explosion shortly before midnight.
If any beach-bums who live in Bldg. #4 dressing
room, take heed. It will be life threatning if you do
not take cover. Explosives are stored in a yellow
Ryder truck, not unlike the one used in the OK City
bombing a few years back.

Written by Timmy McVeigh
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Mr.Allan Seymour is a magician. Yesterday, San Onofre
had sinked to it's lowest level, ever. Allan Seynour bailed
them out. Mr. Seymour, thanks to SOSC reaped a huge profit
to the tune of $28,000.00. He does it each and every year,
leaving any, and all contestents happy as pigs in garbage.
The total cost to Mr. Seymour was zilch, nada, cipher, kaput,
Mr. Seymour siphoned the tank as the SOSC BOD stood
helpless. Every Bulkee Tee that SOSC would have sold
went directly into Mr. Seymour's pocket. The sad part is,
in order to compensate for Bulkee Tees loss, the BOD
asked for a 30% increse un gate fees. I, myself, don't
mind payong the upped price tag. All we can can say is
thank you Mr. Seymoure, you've saved our summer.

Written by DAR.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES