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WELCOME TO OCTOBER 2005 QUIZ.

What are the checks and balances between Mexico and
USA? Gringo goes to Baja, takes a giant Dos Equis leak
he or she goes to jail until they come up with mordida.
Gringo goes to Rosarito Beach Hotel to sell Mexican
real estate la policia sees it, takes gringo to San Ysidro
Border Crossing and dumps him or her. Mexicans come
to USA, receive food stamps, WIC vouchers, free legal aid,
free education for their 12 ninos, school books supplied
by Cardinal Mahoney, subsidized Sect.8 housing, all rights
to sue USA Govt., free schjool lunches, free health insurance
just tell the bilingual County Employee you have no visa, green
card or Metricullah Counselar Card. Reverse the process, go
farther than 50 miles into Mexico, ask for all their freebies for
the gringo demand food stamps; books, unlimited medical
coverage, and if they say no tell them you want to contact the Mexican
Chapter of the ACLU. The quiz question is:

Have you applied for a job as a landscaper, restaurant worker
or any subservient job that Latinos won't have to do 4 years from
because you'll have to do it then?

Written by Ceasar Chavez Local 229 Salinas
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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ATTENTION! ADVISO! WARNING! PELIGRO! CUIDADO!

THE NEWS CHANNEL ISSUED A BULLETIN AT 5:00 AM THIS

MORNING: DAWG PATCH, OLDER MAN''S, THE POINT, DUE

TO THE DUMP STATION UPLIFT PUMP STATION FAILURE

ALL LATRINES AT SURFRIDER ONE THROUGH SIX WILL BE

CLOSED INDEFINITELY DUE TO UNSANITARY CONDITIONS

CAUSED BY A HIGH BACTERIA COUNT CAUSED BY EXCESSIVE

HUMAN WASTE FLOWING UNCONTROLLED INTO THE OCEAN.

THEREFORE, EFFECTIVE TODAY AND UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE,

SAN ONOFRE SURFRIDER'S STATE BEACH IS SHUT DOWN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

Issued by Horace Schmitd San Diego Pollution Station.

The ER was alive with hospital staff chasing around preparing
Chad Bradly for emergency surgery. Lead surgeon was Dr.
Helmut Schnitzle. expert in facial reconstruction, looks down at
Chad, adjusted the halogen super light showing busted nose,
disfigured facial structure, rolled his eyes saying, "We sure have
our work cut out for us." Nurse Blossom nodded in agreement.
"Scalpel! Sponge! Forceps!" said Dr. Schnitzle. The ER team gathered
around the operating table in anticipation. Nurse Blossom pulled
back the preparative gauze exposing Chad's mutilated face, a huge gasp
filled the room as everyone, including Nurse Blossom, was repulsed
with what they saw. he The gasping wakened Chad. 'Doc, you gotta get
me outta this, I wanna surf one more time, please. "There, there, my
boy, you'll be just fine," said Doctor Helmut. Dr. began the operation,
skill saws hummed, bone chisels clinked, persperation dripped, but things
progressed smoothly. Nurse Blossom wheeled Chad into ICU recovery.
everything was black to Chad, but he did hear Dr. say he'll be alright,
whaen he wakes I'll tekk him he surf another day.
To be continued....

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Good news, the volunteer lifeguard squad finally reached shore
just in front of the "No Tresspassing Goverment Restricted Area".
After smashing into the nuclear pier, Chad Bradly could only lay on
the damp sand staring into space. Pappy Procter shoved his fist
showing three fingers. "How many do you see, son?" said Pappy.
"Seven,"said Chad. "Oh boy", said Eddie McBride, "I think he's
had it. "Where am I?"said Chad. "Now take it easy son, you slid
into the pier smashed into it, full throttle,"said Pappy.
"Yikes, did I hurt anyone?" said Chad. The rescue squad looked
at one another, then back at Chad who's head was black and blue.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Chad's swollen, grotesque,
face began looking like a gargoyle. Chad looked at his rescuers,
"Someone hand me a mirror," We don't think you ought to see,
they said among themselves. "Get in the van, Chad, we're going for
a ride." Everyone piled into Hammertoe's van and left San Onofre,
Chad passed out from the pain. East Coast Plaza Hospital
Emergency Room overlooked Laguna Beach, Hammer backed
the van to the dock, the doctors and nurses took charge. There
suddenly was a blood curdling scream followed by, "Doctor, doctor,
come here quick!" Doctor jumped into the van, Öh my God! what
happened here?" I'm a dentist, Doctor," said Wilkes, "he ploughed
head-on into the SONGS Pier." Nurse get the patient into ER,
pronto.
To be continued....

All the fellows watching Chad Bradly's ride, suddenly realized there was trouble
at the end of the SONGS Pier the hooting stopped suddenly. Not having anyone
banging into the pier, "Curious" George Stremple gathered Dr.Wilkes, Blinky
Glockner, Blurhead, Hammertoe, ordered them to drop everything,
"We're going to paddle out, rescue Chad, and hope he's alive, then paddle in,"
They sprint-paddled to the end of SONGS Pier, hoping they weren't to late.
Hammertoe spotted what looked to be a grocery bag floating in the water, Över
here, guys, it's Chad, and he's still breathing. Peanuts, The Senator, lifted Chad
from the water onto Dr.Wilkes 13' log, then paddled in. Once on the beach Dr.
Wilkes DDS, said "Somebody summons a MD before it's too late.
To be continues.

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Tug Bradly first came to old 'Nofre yesterday, brought by his "Old Man",
Chad Bradly, old, well not so old. surfing "The Nofre" since his childhood days
in the seventies. Chad was an athlete whose surfing career was cut
short by a horrific accident, slamming into SONGS Pier, prior to when
they razed the structure years ago. Pops Proctor saw the whole thing go
down. Chad Bradly sat outside First Point, as a huemongus Mother of all
Waves , an easy 20' top to bottom held up by a pesky Devil Wind blowing
offshore. Only a few fellows saw it, Dr. Wilkes, Bill Barnards, George
Stremple, Eddie McBride, Peanuts Larson, and "Senator" Luton. From
the south Chad saw it coming, looking as if would be as if would be
the perfect wave he went for it. From the beach it looked like a horrible
monster, at least 12' in height, thick and a very ominous deck dark blue.
It moved fast over third reef, lifting Chad up its deep slope and catapulting
him toward shore at a rate of speed he'd never seen before. He got his
angle, dragged his arm good and tight, and he got to his feet, only then
did he have any idea the size and strength of the behemoth. All the
fellows on the beached joined the excitement cheering Chad across
the face yelling, "Go for it", Who yah, to yah, Keen-o", except Winky
Glockner who looked down the line and saw the pier coming up fast,
"Jeezus Nick, pull out, the pier, the pier!" Needless to say, Chad didn't
hear a ward as he slammed a glancing blow directly into the stanchon
at th far end of the pier.
To be continued....

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES