December 31, 2004 Old guys run amuck at good ol' 'Nofre.

Oh boy, the annual "Tough Guy Polar Bear Club" pilgrimage recreates tomorrow
Janurary 1st, 2005. It's sort of "Hey, it's my night to howl, owooo! Bro." All
participants will brave the elements sans [without] wetsuits, now these
guys are hard core. Which reminds me of an incident happening during
pre-wetsuit days of the '50's. Well, here goes, a frigid Februrary day, water
tempature 52o f. Miki Dora, Renny Yater, and I, on the way home from Rincon,
stumbled on 8' to 10' combers at Ventura Overhead. Water was freezing, wind
was freezing, everything was freezing. We had no wetsuits (even if that were
invented we wouldn't of worn it), no tequila, we didn't have Jack Schitt, let a
godamm bugle. No big deal, we didn't wait till next Janurary 1st, we were
catching the same swell next day at Redondo Breakwater. No wetsuit, no bugle,
in 52o f. water.

Written by Julio Chimichanga.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

December 29, 2004 Pot O' Gold.

The SOSC BOD jumped all over Ranger Ephriam's pregnant idea as a
Club Resource moneymaker. He approached the Board with a proposal
for Souvenir Commematorive ceramic dinner plates featuring past
Presidents of the SOSC. the first presentations will feature Wayne
Morand, Von Mumbry, Barney Conroy, Terry Beard, and Beardo Vedder.
The set of five plates, including desigmrt stand will sell for $150.00'.
Tis offer good forMEMBERS ONLY!

Written by Judas Priest.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

December 25, 2004 The Savior Returns.

Splat! Biff! Bam! Kerplunk! BIGBOOK is the Go to Guy! The weak leadership
by the SOSC BOD is solved. Although an automobile oil changing is a no-no
at Old 'Nofre, BIGKOOK sees a opportunity. Parked in front of Starwarz
green belt opposite Bldg. #4, toilets 1&2 he climbs beneath the Great White
Van jiggles the oil plug, watches globs of oil plop onto the dirt road and sink in.
BIGKOOK hear the passenger door creak open, sticks his head up to investigate,
and sees Larry the Loser deposit a burrito shaped diaper, smelly and fresh, on
the van's floor, runs off to Four Doors seeking sanciuary. "Hey you, " screams
BIGKOOK, " what are you doing, you dope?" "Merry Christmas, you big kook,"
said Larry the Loser, laughing out loud. "Why you SOB, get your sorry ass back
here. Now, the BIGKOOK suffering from "Miser's Toe", doesn't like this at all,
throws a full king-kong size can of Coor's Light, conking Larry the Loser
smack dab on the head, knocking him to the road. BIGKOOK proceed to thrash
the living schitt out of Larry. BIGKOOK hops into the van and speed-shifts out
of there moments before Rangers Dairywimple and Ephriam arrive. Although,
groggy from the beating, Larry the Loser swears out a warrant for BIGKOOK.
Gatekeeper Evelyn warns BIGKOOK right now he's hotter than a whores ass
amid he better get out of town. Thanks for the warning, he says and quietly
leaves. Moments later, Terry Beard, Larry the Loser, and Dennis the Menace
Plural jump into Larry's vehicle for a liquor store run, drive toward Basilone
Road, crank a right back left, smashing ibto a Hummer driven by Neil
Hargrove recently awarded the Purple Heart because of wounds suffered
by insurgants in Iraq. It was terrible seeing Sgt.Hargrove laying on the
road brought down by Larry the Loser.

Written by Louie Lasagna.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES