WELCOME TO THE 54TH RUNNING OF THE SOSC WORLD CONTEST

Tomorrow marks the 54th edition of the premiere "Surfing Beach Contest"
in the world. Be early for the morning glass as the toddlers eight and under
will participate in the largest Menahune event in history 150 entrants. Each
child is allowed either a parent or guardian to assist in catching a wave.
A special note regarding the Seasoned Old Timer's Magnificent Ultrasonic
Prior to the children's ongoing endless heats, SOSC presents the long awaited
"Father Time" Super Heat, Allan "Mr.Pipeline"Seymour, Al "Mr. Wiamea" Gee,
Paul "Mr.Trestles" Carter, Jim "Mr.Entertainment"Irwin, Weslie "Goathead"
Wilson, and Larry "Wierdo" Beardo. Pertaining to the "Old Fellow's Tribute",
the priority buoy, one surfer per wave, and all interference rules will be waived.

Written by Tom Collins.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Crissake, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water,
Bush dispatched 50 school busses jam packed with refugees to
San Onofre State Beach, ETA 6:00 AM Saturday morning. You knew
the worse was gonna happen, and well, it did. This morning smack dab
in front of Four Doors a forty foot loaded trash truck capsized, clogging
all traffic on the prehistoric dirt road in and out, It blocked all the roofers,
framers, tile setters, and day laborers, who congregate around Starwarz
Greenbelt looking for day jobs.. The SOSC BOD may have to move their
surf contest up to The Point. Don't be surprised if thy are unable to upright
the vehicle. Dairywimple said they may have to postpone the contest
with no refunds given. And you thought things were tough in New Orleans.
This'll be worser it's just in time for SOSC Contest opening ceremonies.

http://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Hello, my name is Sableau the Prophet. The Louisiana Delta
is a nightmare following the departed evil hurricane. Prisident
Bush can't hardly believe it happened like the Iraqi/Bush
involvement while, "Ön my watch". Unless the State refuses
the contest permit public address system becauseThePoint claims
"It's just too loud,"the first ten heats, designated for boys and gitls
ten and under, the kid's dads thinks it's too choppy and glary in the
afternoon, and the lads want earlyAM glass. Well, it's the Pop that
pays the entry fee. Al Gee will now wear the coveted #1 top seed
jersy in the grand Senior Senior's Heat. The NOSSA perameters say
the swell on Saturday and Sunday should exceed 12'. Oh yes, Bush's
popularity rating is lower than a September -minus tide.

http://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

BACK TOMORROW WITH GROUND ZERO REPORT FROM THE BIG EASY. . . BUSH'S

POPULARITY FIGURES (THEY DON'T LOOK SO GOOD). . . HEAT SHEETS POSTED FOR

CONTEST. . .GAMBOA'S OUT AL GEE'S IN. . .SABLEAU THE PROPHET'S ON THE SPOT

HURRICANE UPDATE. . . ALL TOMORROW.

Written by FEMA
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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