7/24/2004 Welcome Home Sponge

Figuratively speaking, the by-pass line was a mile long this morning with

people willing to part with $10.00 cash to wait in a dirty, dusty, dog-crap filled,

line for two hours to get into 'Nofre. But wait, who drives straight in pulling

a fancy eight wheel trailer, no not BIGKOOK, but Neal "The Real Deal" Miyake,

pulling a competition team tag-along containing 75 sponges. Morey, Severson,

Stewart, suffered in line, but not "The Real Deal", he drives right in, no

questions asked. I think, however, he's not gonna' believe it when he has to face

TEAMBIGKOOK mano a mano. He might feel comfortable in Haw'n Gardens

with all the haoles in the Haw'n Surf Club. I'm going early with hopes

that the gate-keeper "Kiosk Don" doesn't let BIGKOOK in because if BK sees

"The Real Deal"it's all over but the shouting.  Speaking of shouting, BIGKOOK

went  into the Porta Pottie dumper, when he came out somebody swung with

his new car radio and boy is he pissed. I'm not gonna screw around, I'm

heading outta here before the "you know what" hit's the fan. Good luck, Neal.

Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
TUBESTEAK/TEAM.SCHNABEL

July 19 2004  BIGKOOK'S pissed.
 
Yesterday 'NOFRE'S GarbageMen a.k.a.  TEAMBIGKOOK, Local 342
pranked BIGKOOK, violently shaking The Great White Van and the
tear-drop trailer attached to the rear, until it tipped over landing door
 side down, trapping BIGKOOK inside. He was stuck overnight screaming
for help. No takers. Yesterday noon I attended luncheon in the Dana
Harbor's John's Fish Market. The seafood is fresh, the beer cold,
french fries crisp, salads wonderful almost just from the garden
variety. Biirds were chirping and twittering, that was until this okiefied
barefoot and pregnant single mom arrives, leading banshee-like kids
screaming their,  "I wänts". Just behind that mess came teenie white
Pomeranians, yapping at the top of their lungs, annoying everyone
within earshot. Aftre luncheon, we went back to 'Nofre to see how
BIGKOOK'S dillema was going. I couldn't believe the turn-around's
line was so long and the morons were ignorant enough to spend to
spend a day sitting in their car to drive toward Well, I drove right trough
drove to where the capsized tear-drop lay. BIGKOOK was livid'
"Get me outta here damn it. Get me a beer dammit, what's that smell?"
I feel the smell he smelled was a potluck hot dog feed for the beacf,
and those cheap turkey franks those people brought. I sure hope
they get BIGKOOK out today.
 
Special to Knight-Ridder metro
TUBESTEAK/NIGHTMARE.ALLEY

San 'Nofre is not the 'Nofre of old.

Super'tenant Dairywimple is AWOL, Ranger Ephriam is a bona-fide bocci-ball

umpire, his time is consumed all weekend. BIGKOOK recognized this, purchased

a 16' tear-drop travel trailer house, with a mega butane tank up front. The

16 footer is a snazzy forrest green in color, white trim aluminum accents, 
 
shiny trailer tongue, "Good Sam Club" window decal, and "Schitt Happens"
 
bumper sticker in USMC colors. He parks the rig parallel style, door facing the
 
the outer reef, climbs in his vacation retreat, cracks a cold one and passes out.
 
It's 6:00 AM today.  The homeless 'Nofre surfers hear the brewski pop and hiss,
 
appear from the surrounding chaparral, run toward the tear-drop, pound on the
 
door, "Hey BIOGKOOK, what's to eat, got any beers?" BIGKOOK grunts,
 
clears his gravely throat, " Get out of here, you knukleheads. I'm trying to sleep!"
 
The homeless guys, Grunion, Sluggo, Sea Cucunber, Chicken Neck, "Duke
 
of Earl", "Hose Nose", ain't gonna take no for an answer. In concert, they v
 
shake the "tear-drop"  trailer till she  flops on her  side door down, trapping
 
BIGKOOK inside.  Will anyone help THEBIGKOOK, can anyone right the
 
"tear-drop", is BIGKOOK stuck in there the balance of this weekend?
 
Special to King Comics 'Nofre Summer Edition.
TUBESTEAK/WAP.SPLAT.ZOOKS.ZOWIE.YIKES!