August 21, 2004 Day of Infamy

Tomorrow is the 11th Annual American Cancer Society Legend's Luau in
La Jolla, guess whom the Society invited to be on Interloper Patrol? You
guessed it--Rangers Hal Dairywimple and Craig Ephriam-- yep, those two are
back in the news again. They report to Scripps Pier tomorrow morning for
briefing and special uniform fitting. After briefing, they will maintain law
and order throughout the day. One of their enforcements is no one sneaks
in the chow line, and nobody is to exchange free drink tickets--you're given
a drink chit you have to use it. The reason they were selected, no one from
SOSC is invited. Guest Legends include Wingnut, Greg Noll, Nat Young, Cliff
Robertson, Dale Velzy, Linda Benson, Rabbit Kekai, Corky Carrol, Gidget,
and all the usual suspects. The limousine picks them up at 4:45 AM taking
them directly to the venue. It is a volunteer position, however, they will be
allowed to keep the uniforms.

Written by Tiki Matt, Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer

AUGUST 2004

EVERYBODY HAS THEIR 15 MINUTES OF FAME. CLUB CONTEST TWO WEEKS.

PROGNOSTICATOR DELUXE

August 22, 2004 You won't believe it it. Believe it.

SORRY, BLOG CENTRAL PLAYS GAMES, I DON'T WANNA'PLAY.

August 18, 2004 SURFER'S HEALING

BIGKOOK is still in Illinois and asked me to cover for him at Camp today
in Pacific Beach's "Skeeter" Malcom's State Beach, for Surfer's Healing's
"Children of the Sea" celebration at 12:00 noon. I will do it, so, hasta manana.

Written by Tiki Matt, Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ACCOCIATES

Augusto 16, 2004 Search forDead Legends.

'Nofre's Club Contest is just around the corner,
however, still no Living Legends with whom
to celebrate, so the public's help is requested.
Please for God's sake, give us some Legends.
Our Club asked a few of the "old guys" but they
sort of blushed, saying, "Oh, dear, I'm not a Legend,"
which is true--but--c'mon guys, give the contest some
glimmer. No takers? Okay, if I were on the Legend
Nominating Committee these would be my suggestions,
but not necessarily an endoresment:

SLAMMIN' SAM CONROY
OFFICER BOB
WAYNE MUMBRY
BRIAN EPHRIAM
DARRYL "DOGGY"DIAMOND
BIGKOOK
AL GEE
TOMMY "MACHINE GUN" TURNER
LESLIE "BIRDMAN" WILLIAMS
WINO JOE

Alternative Stand By Legenda
VON MORAND
BOB LARSON

These nominees could shape the future of "Beach 'Nofre" for future generations.
THANK YOU!

Produced, Written, and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

August 16, 2004 No rest for the weary.

The first thing to hit Super'tenant Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam upon
their return was the new sign installed by State of California on Bldg. #4,
latrines #1 and #2 declaring "WARNING! Water Drains Directly Into Ocean"
which means all raw sewage enters the shorebreak. Period, no filtration. no
nothing, Smack dab in the middle of BIGKOOK'S Homeless Shelter. I was there
yesterday when they discovered the spillage pouring directly into the tide hole.
Ranger Ephriam was knee deep in sewage posting "Polluted Water Do Not Enter",
as Super'tenant Dairywimple consoled a sobbing nymphet, in her very early
twenties, confessing the State ruined the Bamboo Forrest when TEAMBIGKOOK
used to "slam her like an eight dollar omelet" out of view in the hidden rooms .
Everyone thought the beach entrance spike would cut down on cars, but were
they wrong. Looking things over yesterday, I'd be surprised if there wasn't
gunplay before summer's finished. The next surfing fantasy for SOSC BOD
is Club Contest early September where Haw'n Surf Camp has an all star
team of "old guys" ready to beef o' wha'. If things unfold the way they
should the "Road to Bizarre"could turn into the parking lot at the LA Coliseum,
if you know what I mean.

Produced, Written, and Directed, by NeoN D. Surfer
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCATES