July 31 We painted the town. did it up brown!

The Gidget phenomenon rolled into San Clemente today, and out of the

trunk of her car she sold a whopping 800 copies of the infamous surfing

novel of the 60s at $10.00 per copy, tell me that ain't $8,000 profit to the

Gidge. Parked in front of Cowabunga Book Stote, Gidge was "Wild yet Mild",

the San Clemente afficianados cheering everything she said. Several people

were from the Inland Empire, a.k.a. the Tealga Housing Projects up Ave.

Pico. Although I couldn't hear them, several moms said they wanted the book

so little Gidger and Gidget would have a good time growing up at Ol' 'Nofre. It

was time to leave and tears were shed as Gidget got into her BMW and headed to

the next luceative $8,000.00 book gig. Maybe the SANO BOD will get a taste of

what big time surfing is really like and cut a deal with Cowabunga, nah, no way

they'll want to make money.

Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
TUBESTEAK/TAP.CITY

July 27 2004  Don't get mad Get even.

Bro' Dude, acting under advisement from his rabbi, Cy Greenbaum, filed

an indictment against the SOSC BOD, State of California, San Onofre

Ranger Headquarters, Regional Supervisor Otto Schnabel, Superintendent

Dairywimple, Ranger Ephriam, and ten John Does, Charges range from

excessive brutality, mental anguish, shame and embarrassment, and

unnamed charges to be filed at a later date. Total liability against all defendants

$15,000,000.00. The BOD assembles this Saturday and they ain't gonna'

believe it, 15 extra large.  Right off the top it's going to  cost $200,000

for representation and the Club has only $175,000 on hand. This may

be a good bone to chew on for them. Brodman Duder a.k.a. "Dude Bro'"

apparently has taken aboard THEBIGKOOK as friend, colleague, and

financial advisor when the 15 large is awarded. Bro' has retained

D.Denial Shapiro as lead counsel. Mr.Shapiro has never lost a civil

case in his gilded career. Now the good news. The BOD meeting will

take place this Saturday at 9:00 AM sharp for the "Jim Irwin

Memorial Bocci-Ball Center" dedication in the vacated latrines at Bldg. #4.

Following the ceremony the entire BOD, Club members, Rangers and

families, are invited to Cowabunga Ice Cream Parlor on Del Mar

for the book signing featuring Kathy  "Buy My Book" Kohner.

Ms Gidget will sell 500 signed copies of the book that started it all.

Buy a book and get your name mentioned on the public address

system by JT. At dusk on Ol'  'Nofre's world famous surf beach,

Jim Irwin will announce nominations for the most popular surfer

in the Club from the past 10 years.  Wait a minute: 500 signed

copies at $10.00 each is $5,000.00 for three hours work. YIKES!

Well, San Onofre ain't no Malibu.

Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
TUBESTEAK/FLABBERGASTED

July 25 2004 Dairywimple's back, finally.

"Moe 'da Toe" shows at Ol' 'Nofre with a bro and they may have been

drinking all Friday night. Everybody welcomed Super'tenant

Dairywimple home after assignment in Cicero IL He had things pretty

easy before he left, but he returned to a changed 'Nofre. First tour of

duty he nabs Moe 'da Toe's bro trying to climb outta 'Nofre, up

the cliff. Bro gets 30' from freedom when Dairywimple pulls

it, "Freeze or your dead meat!" said Dairywimple. Bro, who's having 

problems navigating anyway panics, tumbles head over heal all the

way down "landing on 'The Road to Bizarre", does a felony prone and

is immediately hog-cuffed and escorted to Vista Jail. Meanwhile, dummies

are sitting in line dying to pay ten scoots to get into a beach full of non-beach

peep dressed like freaks and wizards. Everyone's tattooed from top to

bottom, pierced navels, ball caps reversed and goofy, baby carriages shoved

back and forth along the dirty dirt road. cars jammed helter-skelter into

non-existing parking places, full body 'toos of Bob Marley, shrieking little

five year olds, trendy homemade longboards. I think to myself, if these

clowns think they're surfers, well they have another thought coming.

People screaming at each other, arguing with kids, it seemed nothing

went right until I left and finally saw my old friend from KROQ FM,

"The Poorman" himself. Monday morning I'm going to Park Headquarters

and demand a full refund on my annual pass. Ol' 'Nofre is no longer an

important surf beach it has become public spectacle. Ol' 'Nofre died 

many years ago, and now it's finally beginning to stink.

Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
TUBESTEAK/EYE QUIT