HOW STUPID DO PROGRAM DIRECTORS THINK WE ARE?
They do teases for a week with "Storm Watch 2003" to keep us glued to the TV. To show how stupid they are, there's no storm, but they've got us watching, their overnights skyrocket. What're we going to do know, they ask. Let's do this says the program director, let;s stage a Terror Alert RED at San Onofre. Now San Onofre is Ground Zero for THEBIGKOOK and Warzone, that'll get our audience back, our ratings will go through the roof. I don't believe it. Mark Brown and Michelle Tuzee predict hijacking cargo planes and flying them into San Onofre's Twin Towers. ABC, you and "Homeland Security" are so full of crap I can't believe it.

THE UNIONS CAN KISS MY ASS--BIG TIME. If whining box girls and skateboarding 16 year old strikers bug you, what do you think about these apples? Do you watch Network affiliates with their news puppet, in our case, ABC with Dallas Raines tiptoeing in front of the greenscreen, gyrating like a contortionist, scaring the living crap out of the surviving fire victims, their property ready to slide in a mountain of mud. Well, Mr. "News Director". they should take you, your program director, your writers, your Doppler 7000, and send all of you back to your intern camp. You Guys stink. We told you Tuesday it weren't going to rain and it's not.
TUBESTEAK/SOOTHSAYER

HOLY CHRIST THE STRIKE IS IN IT'S THIRD WEEK. The gang down at BIGKOOK's Club Sano are at wit's end. These guys have absolutely no Health Care, no Dental, no Food Stamps, no WIC money, no Legal Aid, no Free child Care--they have nada. The sixteen year old cart attendants are so worried about their health care they'll walk the picket line on skateboards chanting in unison about unfairness in the USA. Do you know how much they pay employees at Calimex in Mexico? Try .85 an hour.
TUBESTEAK/EOE

JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, your government wants you to lay out $87,000,000,000.000,000.00 for the poor Iraqis to rebuild there precious homeland. Shit, I ain't got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Where's the
$87,000,000,000,000,000.00 coming from. Estados Unidos, the "Land of Milk and Honey.
TUBESTEAK/PUZZLED

HEY NOW! Jeezz Fetterly cut us a break. PUHLEEZ! Today's Friday, November 11, 2003,and it's payday. Y E S S S . It's my night to howl. Awooo. Things are exploding in surfing no more "alt.surfing" ass kissing. Just real surfing on the horizon big time. Be there or be square.
TUBESTEAK/PAVE.THE.WAVE

I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH all this shark scare. This poor 13 year old is armless, the arm laying on the bottom of the Hawaii ocean floor, YUCK!
How's Neal Miyake going to explain this in his international column? I'm more than sick reading semi-devoured corpses, the color of gray chalk, floating in the San Onofre shorebreak. I once rode a surfboard but realized this area is shark country. I don't need no goddam road map how to get out of the water.
TUBESTEAK/CHUM

LABOUR DISPUTE UPDATE: It looks as if the Supermarket conglomerate has broken the Union Clerk's back, you know, "Brought 'em to their knees." Ralph's called a moratorium on it's picket lines. Now the senior citizen's can shop in peace, not to worry about having a teeny-bopper cart attendant cracking the senior over the head with a picket sign. Way to go AARP.
TUBESTEAK/ARBITRATOR