Wonder why the long wait this morning, Saturday?
The shark nets were set in preperation for the
July 4th freaks because of the invasion of those
guys in the gray flannels, yes, they're back,
however, the reason for the enormous line,
Sal Geez had a coronary occlusion while
playing bocci-ball with all the Club ghouls.
All, while the Geez family sat at the Geez
family table feeding the Geez grandbabies.
The sun beat relentlessly on the ancient
dirt road, Sal could no longer take it, he
collapsed in a heap, gasping for oxygen.
Bocci-baller's were dumbfounded. Someone
get a defibulator over here, on the double.
What defibulator, somebody asked? Sal
turned blue. I think they're in #4. Crusty
comes over to help. "Lifeguard, we need
help." Call the Ranger," they said. Crusty
said they're up controlling the overflow
line, and nobody here has a key to #4.
How's Sal doing? Not so good, we need
either a Ranger, Lifeguard, but more
importantly a fully charged defibulator,
we gots to bring Sal back. His family and
grandchildren are worried sick. Why isn't
Sal responding, the Geez family and
friends ask? The timing couldn't have
been more perfect, Cue Ball comes out
of toilet #2, Bldg. #4, BIGKOOK comes
barreling down the "prehistoric, filthy,
dirt road, on his interview with Gidget
for a position as surf instructor in her
new Surf Camp and Spa, smack dab in the
middle of San Onofre's Old Man's. BIGKOOK
driving the Paskowitz surf van nearly runs
over Sal's lifeless body. Cue Ball yells at
Crusty, and BIGKOOK to stand-by, we're
gonna' bring Sal back from the dead. 'KOOK ,
hook the heavy duty jumper cables to the
battery, Crusty, clamp the cables to Sal's
chest, were gonna' defibulate Sal with this
powerful supercharged Delta. In the middle
of the road, three men worked in unison
to keep Sal from going "away". Cables
attached , 'KOOK revved the Ford 340
engine. Crusty rubbed the cables, Cue
Ball yelled "Clear". The juice went from the
battery, along the cables, into Sal's body ,
and snap, life popped into Sal's body and he
jumped back to life. The Geez family was
estatic. The SOSC BOD paid $28,000.00
that Cue Ball and Crusty could do with a
heavy duty Die Hard battery. Now then,
who's running for Club BOD this year,
it looks the SOSC blew it this time around.
Well, thank Gawd Sal's okay, he doesn't know
how close he came to a classic Ol' 'Nofre
paddle-out.

Written by Curley Hall.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

I don't know what's going on with these
mid-aged surfers packing up, heading
to Costa Rica on their own money
seeking fame and fortune. Well, guess
what gang, and you know who you are,
if you ain't made it in surfing by the time
you're 19 you ain't gonna' make it all.
The Airlines, hotels, Contest Administrators,
Costa Rica Chamber of Commerce, everyone,
they know you are too old to surf contests,
however, you're losing gives you a springboard
for griping and whining about everything in
surfing. All San Onofre guys, like the wind,
were blown out early. So what's next,
another celebration and fundraiser at the "Rib"?
I only hope and pray, the SOSC survives
another tragedy this 4th of July. Please Club,
fix the defibrulators please, Wes, in the name
of good taste. Out of curiosity, has anyone
suffered a massive stroke on that scorching,
filthy, squirrel laden, prehistoric dirt road.
*CLEAR*

Written by Larry Coronary.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES INC.

Praise the Lord, they finally got away from
lifeless heart attack victems, and took an
exit poll of the three popular spots at Ol'
'Nofre Third most popular, Four Doors,
second runner-up, Bldg. #4, most popular,
The Point and all it's characters. That seems
a fair assessment. Plans are finalized for
the always boring Club Luau. Slim Irwin
is in command, Sal Geez, and the entire family
and friends as back up. SOSC BOD shall give
another demonstration of the $42,000.00
defibulators making sure they'll be working
the 4th of July Holiday. That's all the Club
needs is another DOA at San Clemente
General. *CLEAR*

Written by Larry Coronary.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

They moved the show up north yestersday
to a more congenial Topanga State Beach,
boy was it a doozie. Izzy had a bazillion
folks there, all with huge donations. The
Variety Club of Hollywood supplied luncheon,
which everybody gobbled post haste. It's funny
when you get north of Dana Pt. how far behind
times poor ol' San Onofre is. San Onofre has
always reminded me of Forrest Gump, if
you know what I mean. Wednesday, Izzy
takes his show to Tourmaline at La Jolla,
where Jim and Bob return for another BBQ.
That Izzy sure knows how to push the
right buttons. Guess who would love to
cover the event? Yep, the San Diego
Union Tribune. SOSC BOD always
gripes about crowds, let me tell you this,
they had 5,000 in attendance at TOPO.
No Wes Williams in sight, as far as that
goes no Sal "Hey, that's our table" Geez
and the kids.

Written by Larry Coronary.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAN ASSOCIATES