IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE AT THE SAN ONOFRE PIER at noon

today, you can witness the TEAM/BIGKOOK'S trek up historical

"Surfer's Trail" to Izzy Paskowitz' Tree Farm up the Ortega Highway.

Ranger Dairywimple will lead the escort of the 40' long Ranch

Wagon to haul the 60' X-MASS tree back to San Onofre Surfrider's

Residential Community Beach. A ceremony will be held at 6:00 AM

sharp tomorrow morning. You will be asked to pitch in and decorate

the gorgeous tree. As usual, SANO's BOD is against the ceremony,

saying they wanted their Club to decorate the Club Windmill. Ranger

Dairywimple said TEAMBIGKOOK has the proper permits. Good news

for the kiddies, THEBIGKOOK will be dressed as Santa Clause to

distribute free gifts, courtesy TARGET STORES.


TUBESTEAK/MERRY X-MASS

I NOT SURE IF YOU KNOW, but "San Onofre Surfrider residential Family

Beach" is under scrutiny by "SONG'S Reinforcement Headquarters".

Last night during their patrol with "heat seeking" radar guns, RS flushed

out over 30 homeless souls, sleeping in TBK's "Bamboo Plantation"

in front of Toilet #6. The souls complained to the squad it was so cold

they had to sleep on the sand. SANO's ambient tempeture was four

degrees above treezing, the crappers were locked tighter than a

snare drum. Ranger Diarywimple gave then vouchers for South San

Clemente's Starbucks for hot black java and a muffin of their choice.

The homeless souls thanked Ranger Diarywimple and promised to head

for Dana Point's "Baby Beach" for the duration of the cold snap.

TUBESTEAK/HOMELESS*IN*90265

FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY AWAY FROM POOR old San Onofre

TEAMBIGKOOK challenged rush hour traffic from 'Nofre to, of all

places, Riverside CA, for Mission Hotel's pageant of the Child

Jesus' 2003 anniversary. What a place, lights twinkling above the

courtyard, fields of red pointsiettas throughout, Opera singers,

Mariachis, horse drawn wagons, they wanted me, dressed as dickens,

to be the guest wagon master, however, I am terrified by animals,

especially snorting horses and screeching cats. Finally, I gave in,

touring the grounds with the TBK. gables and steeples entwined

by X-MASS bulbs, A "Fountain of Legends", chandeliers, rotundas,

BIGKOOK'S favorite, The Stations of the Cross. Santa's Workshop

and the elves village caused NeoN to "sorta swoon", So much food,

they distributed boxes of turkey and ham sandwiches, chips and

candies, for the beach. TEAMBIGKOOK agreed this was not

the work of SOSC BOD. No Way! Ranger Diarywimple drove

a State Vehicle, comfort all the way, and last but not least

Tom, John, and Andy Wilson, TEAMBIGKOOK is indebted to

you guys for life. Thanks Riverside, you are now our

"Sister City".

TUBESTEAK/EXPLORER

I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN DOWNTOWN L.A., Los Angeles not Louisiana.

One of all-time favorite villages is Riverside CA. TBK Member, Andy Wilson

told of the fabled X-MASS parade at the Mission Inn on Mission Blvd.

Put on by Marie Callender's Las Vegas, it is a full-on all you can eat

bash. This is what makes it attractive, in order to make BIGKOOK'S

X-MASS Cook Around a cut above, I get to ride un a hay ride 40'

wooden wagon, eight-in-hand, dressed like David Copperfield. The

farm wagon is filled with corolors singing all your favorite tunes. I'll

be back tomorrow with a full report for parade coordinator, NeoN

of San Onofre Beach.

TUBESTEAK/PAVING.THE.WAVE.AT.THE.CROWD

HAD PAUL HOLMES BEEN AROUND MALIBU during the "Glory Years"

he'd a been sitting smack dab in the middle of the "Pit". Big time!

My old friend, Paul, shows at the A-Table to discuss another "book deal",

this time about Dale Velzy. A few weeks back, "Paving the Wave"

film producer, Eric Jordan, did a spot with my old friend Jeff Devine

at Surfer's Journal. I am not afraid of magazine editors, especially

my old friend Scot Hulett who is Editor of "TSJ". On my out of the

filming, Devine comps me an issue of "Longboard Mag". November,

2003. I read when I get home to my "beach pad", checked out

Linda's piece, pictures only, until Saturday, after Paul Holmes

told me he wrote it. Two gals that are truly "a cut above"

are Linda and Rell Sunn. I know Benson , she was easily the best

ever, and Holmes captured it all.

TUBESTEAK/SOOTHSAYER

I'M NOT EASILY TAKEN BACK, but at San Onofre yesterday, Sunday,

a SOSC BOD (San Onofre Board of Dictators) killed "Old Gus" our

sixty three year old white sea bass dead. "Old Gus was the first fish

prior to WW II, tagged for identification at San Onofre. He was

loved and cherished by all non-members of the SOSC.

TEAMBIGKOOK would feed him worms daily. Yesterday

"Gus'" life came to an end when he was slaughtered by a

cruel BOD member who felt there was some significance

between "Old Gus" and Pearl Harbor Day. We know who

killed him and chopped him up on the beach for all

members of SOSC to divide. We'll miss you "Old Gus".

You are in our prayers. At the time of his death his

weight was 65 lbs., soaking wet.

TUBESTEAK/HUMANITARIAN

JUST AS PROMISED RANGER DAIRYWIMPLE left my name at the Doheny

State Beach Guard Gate for entrance to the Annual Doheny

Longboard Shaper's Convention. Boy, was I out of place. I know you

haven't, but have you ever mingled with all fabled board shapers in

history of surfing. Sit among Velzy, Yater, BIGKOOK, The Greek, Gordy,

Bing Copeland, doctors, lawyers, and my old friends, Alan Seymour,

Flippy Hoffman, Paul Ho;mes (Lonjboard Mag), and a crowd of great

people. The shrimp was marvie', lots of accoutrements, and plenty to

drink with BIGKOOK working the keg. Thanks for the invite everyone.

TUBESTEAK/AMAZED