March 5, 2005 San Onofre State Farm.
Lady Urine arrived at The Old 'Nofre yesterday noon, took one
look around, and said, "You gots a problem here, and I have your
solution." She called for Rangers Dairywimple, Ephriam, and Intern
Ranger "Bamboo" Larson. "As long as these surfers insist on
bringing their loose animals to the beach, and not use the State
provided facilities, then this is what you must do, follow me to the
San Diego Wild Life Preserve with two 55 empty gallon drums,
and your problem will be solved." Four hours passed, and they returned
with 110 gallons of lion piss on board. Lady Urine instructed Dairywimple,
Ranger Craig, Intern Bamboo, on how to spray the 'lion territory' marking
scent throughout 'Nofre, then watch the fun begin when the Irish Setters,
Black Labs, and Vanessa the English Bulldog get a whiff of that stuff. "This
is not going to make the Club's loose animal dog owners happy, but I
guarantee 't'll make your beach more attractive without all their stupid
animals crapping all over the place," said Lady "Urine".
Written by Uncle Matty
JUICE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES