Don't be shut out ever again!

This will be your final weekend to submit your entry for
this month's entry for the San Onofre Memorial Day
Parade and Extravaganza down the "dusty old road"
from Punta Surfride finishing at Ol' Dog's Patch, then
back to Pt. Surfride for the award ceremony presented by
Grand Marshall Ranger Ephriam for "Best in Show". Grand
Prize will be a 2006 Pontiac Thunderbird Super Deluxe. On
the menu, SOSC BOD will feed the beach Chicago style charbroild
bratwurst, kraut, shredded Bermuda onions, hot mustards,
li'l green peppers, Kosher Style Knockers, delicious slaws,
macaroni salad, chips 'n guacamole, and fried clams and
mussel's. THEBIGKOOK needs two volunteers to ride up
to Irwindale in order to transport six full size kegs of free
ice cold keggers. These are kegs not ponies. SOSC BOD
guarantees all this will be free, yep, no charge to 'Nofre guys an gals
The SOSC wants the theme to be "come one come all." Thanks for making
Óld 'Nofre the beach that is today.

Written byAl Guy.
BRUCE SAVAGE SANND ASSOCIATES

Welcome home Huell.

This is the last thing the SOSC BOD wants to hear,
"CALIFORNIA GOLD" will revisit Club San Onofre, June
6th 2005, and will be looking for any surviving members
left from the last "shoot" several years back. Ranger
Ephriam will once again join Mr. Howser leading the
entourage from Punta Surfride to Latrine #4 , documenting
'Nofre's history on the way. Ranger Craig will touch upon
the Chumash Indian Trail, Sacred Kahoona's Sacrificial
Altar, digging of old kuk shacks, now our Haw'n Gardens
boundary marker. Properties can use any redwood, balsa,
and pine, old style boards to align the journey along the
antiquated cattle path ending at the dilapidated palm
frond "Shack of Legends" at Old Man's. Breakdown
lists gray-haired older gents (preferably in a ponytail),
because of the theme (Heroes of San Onofre), wetsuits
are not welcome. Dr. Barney Wilkes, Blurhead, Hammertoe,
look-a-likes are desperately needed. Be prepared to work
that day if chosen for a part. You will be paid scale $525.00
for the day.

Written by Hal Dairywimple CSA
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water.

If it ain't one thing it's the tuther, San Onofre will come up
with a doozie or two. Well it happened this morning. Mr.Mystery
came up with the quintessential beach moneymaker. Mr.
shows up with a van full of rental dogs, or dogs for rent. Old
'Nofre has become the doggie beach capitol of the world. Mr.
figures in order to be on the inside looking out you should
follow the cliche when in Rome do as the Romans. Inlanders
come to Old 'Nofre, the first thing they see is a mangy farm
dog tied down with a nylon rope, out of work and unemployed
contractor style. By 11:00 AM this morning he had rented twelve
barking dogs, all lunging at the leash for $20.00 a day. Then,
get this, The Mr. drives to Stator Bros, trying to impress his
bros he purcheses 10 lbs. of (YOUCH!) San Onofre filet
mignon i.e., Tri Tips the worse grade of commercial cuts
in the world, but those poor guys don't know the difference.
Yep, Tri Tips and Bud Lite, and the boyz are "kings for a day".
I bet Mr. Mystery shows next week with kids for rent for
wan2bees parents for a day as it looks as if Old 'Nofre shooting
for "Baby Beach of the Year."

Written by The Lounge Lizard.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES