For the life of me I can't figure what the
attraction is with Sal Geez, his family of
many, and his stupid picnic table where
everyone wants to be seen. Color me
green with envy, but Sal sure knows how
to attract 'em week after week. People
flock to San Onofre to be seen with him,
his children, and grandchildren. Sal is
sorta' like a magnet. Beach buzz is if
Wes Williams kicks the bucket Sal takes
over the reins to the Club. Actually, it has
a nice ring to it, "Sal Geez, President San
Onofre Riding Club". I sure hope Sal adds
some 65 plus Senior Longboard heats. That
should jack up "Old Guys Rule" shirt sales.
Wow, I can see Grandpaw and Chip walking
into Ralph's with their matching 'Nofre 50th
Anniveresary Bulky Tees flipping "Shakka
Howzeet" sign. Hang Loose Brah!

Written by Blah Kimo Irwin
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Sometimes you can't make a silk purse
out of sow's ear. Right? Right! Presently,
San Onofre is wavering as if she were a
punch drunk fighter. Going from Dr.Wilkes
to Wes Williams may have been to large
a Quantem Leap for the old beach.
But there is good news. Sal Geez, if he
survives the summer, is well on his way
to his tenure as "President of the San
Onofre Riding Club", easily the pinnacle
of ones career. I mean, is that a resume
job, or what? If his liver holds, Sal could
be President in year 2010, then you're really
gonna' see the fur fly. Imagine, how much
money SOSC will rake in on Bud Lite product
placement, like trashcans with the Bud Logo,
is that a natural or what. You'll never have to
cough up a penny again for that garish Luau,
or cherry seed spitting contest. Bud will cover
you as long as you remain a member.
Right on, Sal!

Written by Augie Busch.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

I don't know why I don't learn my lesson.
Yesterday, against my natural instincts, I
returned to San Onofre. I'm sure pleaed I
did, because I was able to meet an Editor
of the foremost food magszine in the nation,
Bon Appetite Magazine. As I sat chit-chatting,
exchanging recipes, with Amy Albert,
when the subject came up regarding shark,
I was thinling of submitting secret ways of
preparing the beast, spcificly Malibu's famous
shark's fin soup. As we spoke this elderly
chap rides accross a five footer heading
south, toward the SONGS Power Plant. The
wave, paper thin, was so transperant you
could see the old fellow, unbeknownst to
him, tracked by a 22' Great White Man-Eating
Shark. Suddenly, a blood curddling scream
comes from the beach. The twenty-two footer
leaps in the air, widens his massive jaws,
as the old guy approaches, the shark gobbles him
up head first. The GWS sounds, heading for the
bottem, victim, leash, and board. It was awful,
beleive me. I was a wreck, unable to complete
my recipe for Amy. Now that I think about it,
if I never see another fish as long as I'm on this
Planet it'll be too soon.

Written by Peg Leg Beard.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES