PROGRAM DIRECTORS ARE SO HARD-UP for viewers, a 20% chance of

"light sprinkles" merits a Storm Watch 2003 and these poor bastards

will stay glued to the "Cyclops" waiting for an encouraging word on

weather conditions so they can head for San Onofre, hang with the

"Bros", crack open a Coors Lite, and "Talk Story". Life is good for the

"Beach Bums".

TUBESTEAK/TRY-TO-BE

WELL, TODAY'S THE DAY. Both TEAMBIGKOOK and SANO/RATPACK are

guests of The Dana Harbor fishing crowd for free drinks and lunch.

Although the fishies are a scary bunch, it's better than going to

San Onofre for anything at all, and get the stink-eye from

the BOD. Btw, lunch is a fish fry at Proud Mary's and free all

you can drink Gin on the rocks at Turk's. One problem,

it's I/O. See you at San Onofre, manana en la manana.

TUBESTEAK/FOREVER

ONE OF SURFING'S DARING STUNTMEN ONCE TOLD ME," We do

the difficult on demand and the impossible by request." Each and every

time I drive the "primitive dirt" road way down at San Onofre, I see a lot

of weathered "surfers" balancing on the log barricade, clutching their Coors

Lite with an unforgiving death grip, attired in hooded sweatshirTs

announcing a 50 year Anniveresery, Ugg Boots, and a copy

of Longboard Magazine, I think of the legendary stuntman who rises

above the norm amd enjoys the challange. His name is synonamous

with "gags" (stunts) Mike Retzer, the Joey Chitwood of surfing.

TUBESTEAK/HOLD*FOR* A*LILLY

WE ARRIVED AT 'NOFRE EARLIER THAN USUAL. Today is the

preview of TEAM/BIGKOOK'S entry for the 2004 Pasadena

Rose Parade along Colorado Blvd. When she first made the swing

down the "primitive" dirt road, pulled by a Kelly-green John Deere tractor

with "The Messenger" at the controls, was an awesome sight to behold.

The Amish farm wagon was larger than anticipated, the bed seven feet

above ground, was of hand-buffed ranch oak. THE/TEAM spared no expense

in chroming the pneumatic tire rims installed for the gang's comfort

If you choose to view the ranch wagon, go to GOOGOL, type in Amish

Farm Wagon, hit the image prompt to see what you missed this

beautiful Fall morning. The SANO BOD boycotted the proceedings,

something to do with California driver's licenses.

TUBESTEAK/TUCSON

ARRIVED AT SANO THIS MORNING FOR reshoot of Eric Jordan's

film documentary, "Paving the Wave". Ranger Diarywimple was

snooping around TEAMBIGKOOK'S Bamboo Plantation with several

members of Camp Pendleton USMC 101 artillery Division. We could

over hear them describing how the Marine's are going to anniahjlate

the virus infested area across from Building #6. Commadant Wilson

said the only way to stop the influenza crises is with flame-throwers

to the bamboo and adjacent foliage. Ranger Dairywimple asked for my

suggestions for names to be permantely enshrined on San Onofre's

Fountain of Legends. The SANO BOD ain't gonna like this because

they feel 4th generation members are the only ones worthy of the

bestowation of names. The Fountain will be built with Tee-Shirt profits

from the Club's Slush Fund. Here's the list of the "real" San Onofre

Legends: Hi Ho Silver, EJ Oshier, Bill "Wild Ass Wiley, Waikiki Pete,

Al Dowden, Viking, Warren Miller, Hammerhead, Bill Barnards,

Obie Rod, George Stremple, and Convertable Larry. Notice there are no

Taleaga Newcomers

TUBESTEAK/LEGEND*EMERITUS

STRAIGHT FROM THE BEACH! Members of TEAMBIGKOOK were

overwhelmed by the International Committee of Rose Parade

Executives wonderful offer to have THE/TEAM'S great farm wagon

in the 2004 Rose Parade along Colorado Ave. in Pasadena. There is

a fly in the ointment. Ranger Dairywimple wanted SANO'S BOD

to pitch in and decorate the float, pasting poseys on the wagon.

That was no problem, however, SANO'S BOD wants the float named

"Spirit of San Onofre", TEAMBIGKOOK wants the beautiful float

titled "Legends of California's Legendhood". .They will have to

hammer this out among themselves. They have less than three weeks to

solve the problem.

TUBESTEAK/MEDIATOR

THIS JUST IN! Returning from Izzy Paskowitz' X-MASS tree farm, driving

the farm wagon, TEAMBIGKOOK was spotted by the "Rose Parade

Committee and Judges". They want TEAMBIGKOOK in the 2004,

Rose Parade. Following the procession to San Onofre, they asked Ranger

Dairywimple if he'd extend the invitation. When the TEAMBIGKOOK

decorates the 60' tree this morning, we feel confidence is high they will.

A vote will be taken at 10:00 AM this morning in front of the "Banana

Plantation" facing Toilet #6. If this don't frost SANO'S BOD nothing will.

But no matter SANO'S BOD is repulsed by surfing commercialism, that

is, unless it involves the sale of the Club's High Profit Tee-Shirts.

TUBESTEAK/BOB*EUBANKS/STEPANIE*EDWARDS