PROGRAM DIRECTORS ARE SO HARD-UP for viewers, a 20% chance of

"light sprinkles" merits a Storm Watch 2003 and these poor bastards

will stay glued to the "Cyclops" waiting for an encouraging word on

weather conditions so they can head for San Onofre, hang with the

"Bros", crack open a Coors Lite, and "Talk Story". Life is good for the

"Beach Bums".

TUBESTEAK/TRY-TO-BE