EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT! Things are back to normal as things can be. I hope!
Because of unusual behavior on the job, Ranger Dairywimple was placed on Administrative Leave. His dossier was listed: CONFIDENTIAL 51-50. Deputy Ranger Sgt. Craig Ephriam was placed First in Command. Deputy Ephraim's first act, under color, was grant BIGKOOK, acting under power of attorney for Talega Community Beach Club, a building permit for their "breeding shed" project at the outdated turn-a-round on the archaic dirt rod, which has become the laughing stock of the whole Pacific Coast. BIGKOOK convinced Deputy Ephhraim about the necessity for breeding square footage increase so as not give the stallions that "closed in feeling. The Rancho Santa Margarita Kayak Team, too, has placed an application for Club recognition. SOSC reelection is coming up fast, so it appears there'll be more parking spots allocated for the cheap fibreglass hulls. If that's what the club wants, I say give it to them. I will say one thing, you'll get more goats, cats, farm animals, and flys. Welcome to Rancho San Onofre, Have your picture taken with the Amish farm wagon.
TUBESTEAK/FRIEND.OF.AHMISH

A "BULLDOG EDITION" WILL BE PUBLISHED TOMORROW. Features on Ranger Dairywimple's near "Nervous Breakdown". BIGKOOK'S application for his breeding shed permit, to be constructed, using Club Funds, down in the Rancho San Onofre stable area.
Plus a calvacade of fast breaking news.
TUBESTEAK/WHEN.WE.RETURN

LOTS AND LOTS OF FINGER POINTING YESTERDAY. Rancho Talega Home Sales requested a special State Permit allowing the Riverside Amish Farm Wagon to be housed at the southern most section of the "primitive dirt road"at the beach corral. This is where finger pointing started. San Onofre "real" old timers said no. The old road stays unblemished. We want it to be just like when "The Duke" surfed here in '17. SOHSC, 'da Hooie, agreed. Sadly no one, except for me and Rancho Talega, wanted it modernized. Rancho Talega claims their Hummers and black Suvs get too filthy down there. Ranger
Dairywimple said the State shall take the matter under consideration, but, dollars to do-nuts, the SOSC BOD will get their way again. It never fails.
TUBESTEAK/ADALANTE

THANK GOD I WENT TO THAT HORRIFYING POINT OF NO RETURN BEACH, San Onofre Family Resort Beach. Luckily I found a spot by the SOHSC, everybody "talk story:", Bra.
I/m glad I did. 'da Blahlas full of information. I discovered the song, "Hang on Sloopy, hang on", well, Sloopy's a chick. I thought Sloopy was a boat. Boy, was I in for a surprise. 'da Bras "talk story" about when Tony's Market near the State Park. Tony sent, during the summer, an elaborate refrigerated catering truck, parking it where the SOHSC stands today. Tony stocked the thing with Hero Sandwiches, Hoagies, Snicker Bars, Snow Cones, hot black coffee, apples, oranges, bananas, peanuts, popcorn, Cracker Jacks, Candied Apples, pizza slices, Abba Zabba, Milk Duds, everything making your day comfortable, convenient, and even Dr.Zog's Sex Wax. Guess what? The SOSC BOD, nixed the gig. We know who the BOD jerks were, and believe me, they had nothing to do with surfing. They wanted our friend, Tony out, but the "primitive dirt road" stays. Ranger Dairywimple wasn't on duty at the time, but pointed out the permit signed by Gov.Arnie will be posted tomorrow allowing the Talega Shuttle Bus to access the beach bypassing the overflow loop. Details tomorrow.
TUBESTEAK/REMEMBRANCES