DATELINE 6/19/2004 SPECIAL FROM "LA OPINION" SJC CA
NOT ONLY DID 'NOFRE SMELL FISHY, BUT IT LOOKED FISHY.
Its beach was empty at 6:00 AM, no long line and
everywhere to park. The ocean's surface was glass,
the rising sun cast shadows on the damp sand. Several
gulls scurried across the beach, searching for a tasty
morsel or two. Maybe, this is how it may have looked
to the "Pioneers of San Onofre Surfing" in 1926. Down
the "primitive dirt road", the single white van,
emblazoned with orange and red scallops, the huge
inscription in black letters, "The California Kid".
I don't know why, but that white van, longboard secured
to the roof, wet trunks hanging from the side mirror,
tires balder than bald, sure looked familiar.
"The Kid" stepped from the van, sporting DKNY designer
jeans, white 'Nofre 50th bulky tee, clutching a 50th
'Nofre coffee mug, and a "Go Home Kook" terry-cloth
beach towel. After a quick change into a set of lavender
and lime green Speedos, with no wetsuit, the "Kid" paddles
out, using a Finger Mill as his land mark. He's 110 yards
offshore when he sees movement on the horizen. The set
approaches. He wheels his board 11' in length, taking
the second of four with a single stroke, draws his left
leg forward from a prone paddle,lifts himself smoothly
to his feet, cranks a right slide easy-turn, heading toward
the power plant. He's reached maximum speed on the limousine
when he cranks a gigantic sweeping drop-knee back left in dramatic fashion. It was a comber at least 6'high. Now,
"The Kid" is riding high on the crest when, he's joined
by a group of playful dolphins, "The Kid" and dolphins,
riding side by side across the third reef, was a
"King Neptune" moment. "The Kid" straightened out
leaving his new found friends with a farewell salute,
and riding it to the beach, stepped off, headed for
"The Great White Van" and silently drove away. Maybe
it was coincidental, but "The California Kid" sure looked familiar.
TUBESTEAK/SOOTHSAYER

DATELINE 6/19/2004 SPECIAL FROM LA OPINION SJC CA
NOT ONLY DID 'NOFRE SMELL FISHY, BUT IT LOOKED FISHY.
Its beach was empty at 6:00 AM, no long line and
everywhere to park. The ocean's surface was like,
glass, the morning, still blocked by a rising sun,
cast shadows on the damp sand. What few gulls there were,
scurried on the beach, searching for a tasty morsel or
two. Maybe, this is how it may have looked to the Pioneers
of San Onofre in 1926, 78 years back. A single white van,
emblazoned with orange and red scallops, bearing the
inscription in huge black letters, "The California Kid".
I don't know why, but that white van, longboard secured
to the roof, wet trunks hanging from the mirror, and tires
balder than bald, sure looked familiar. "The Kid" stepped
from the van sporting DKNY designer jeans, white 'Nofre
50th bulky tee, clutching a 50th 'Nofre coffee mug, and
a "Go Home Kook" terry-cloth beach towel. After a
quick change into a set of lavender an lime green
Speedos, no wetsuit, the "Kid" paddles out, using
a Finger Mill as his land mark. He's 110 yards offshore
when he sees movement on the horizen, a set approaches.
He wheels his board 11' in length, taking the second of
four with a single stroke, draws his left leg forward
from a prone paddle,lifts himself smoothly to his feet,
cranks a right slide easy-turn, heading toward the
power plant. He's getting maximum speed on the limousine
when he cranks a gigantic sweeping drop-knee back
left in dramatic fashion. It was a comber at least 6'
high. Now, "The Kid" is riding high on the crest when,
he's joined by a group of playful dolphins, "The Kid"
and dolphins, riding side by side across the third
reef, was a "King Neptune" moment. "The Kid"
straightened out leaving his new found friends with a
farewell salute, and rode it to the beach, stepped
off, heading for "The Great White Van" and silently
drove away. Maybe it was coincidental, but "The
California Kid" sure looked familiar.
TUBESTEAK/BELIEVER

DATELINE 6/21/2004 SAN ONOFRE PARADISE SHORES
HANS SCHULTZ ARRIVED AT 'NOFRE LAST NIGHT WITH PLANS
for the new beginning. San Onofre beach front property
sold yesterday for $75,000,000.00 cash to the Arab nation
of Yeman. Khalid-Abdul.Salin represented Yeman's government
declared the beach, with all it's eyesores, will be razed,
all "vegetation" destroyed, public latrines deloused, and
the "primitive dirt road" dug up and paved over. Yeman
Government will place 176 condos on the sand available
at $2,500,000.00 each ranging from the Pendelton boundary
to SONGS power plant for a total sale of $440,000,000.00.
Plans for Phase II were brought out and they showed blueprints for split level condos carved out on the bluff side. The whole
project will be named "San Onofre Paradise Shores".
TUBESTEAK/ALOHA

DATELINE SACRAMENTO CA 6/13/2004
WELL, IT FINALLY HAPPENED 'NOFRE IS UP FOR SALE.
The State of California in an effort to clean up the beach,
decided to parcel off the 1.2 mile stretch of beach front
lots for a nifty $700,000.00 per 50'plot. This is a
bargain considering a 30'beach front lot in Malibu CA
commands $2,500,000.00. Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam
were making "FOR SALE" signs to post along Basilone Road.
Their promotion includes "breathtaking whitewater views",
"Catalina Island Spectacular", close to Dana Point Harbor,
all the amenities. Orders will be taken starting July 4th
weekend. I know they'll sell like "hotcakes" at that
price. Incidentally , BIGKOOK'S van was hauled to the
OPG (Official Police Garage) down in Vista last night.
TUBESTEAK/GOOD.NEWS

DATELINE SACRAMENTO CA 6/13/2004
WELL, IT FINALLY HAPPENED 'NOFRE IS UP FOR SALE.
The State of California in an effort to clean up the beach,
decided to parcel off the 1.2 mile stretch of beach front
lots for a nifty $700,000.00 per 50'plot. This is a
bargain considering a 30'beach front lot in Malibu CA
commands $2,500,000.00. Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam
were making "FOR SALE" signs to post along Basilone Road.
Their promotion includes "breathtaking whitewater views",
"Catalina Island Spectacular", close to Dana Point Harbor,
all the amenities. Orders will be taken starting July 4th
weekend. I know they'll sell like "hotcakes" at that
price. Incidentally , BIGKOOK'S van was hauled to the
OPG (Official Police Garage) down in Vista last night.
TUBESTEAK/GOOD.NEWS

SPECIAL TO THE DAILY SUN POST
LIFE JUST AIN'T FAIR. BIGKOOK WON A SET OF NEW TIRES
at the raffle held at Elks Lodge #322, had them mounted,
balanced, and inflated to the optimum, then drove to the
beach at SANO for some Mai Tais and sauteed mussels snared
off Shark Reef just outside Old Men's. The State runned beach
has been annexed by families, not for surfing, but as
baby-sitters for their incorrigible teen age troublemakers,
the ones the SOSC BOD wishes weren't there, however, as Ranger Ephriam pointed out, the SOSC doesn't hold title to the
property. BIGKOOK parked, alighted from the "Great White Van",
walked around kicking his recently won $250.00, each, tires,
strolled down toward "Mecca" looking for his breakfast. Down
by #5, latrines #1&2, two incorrigibles hiding in the
latrine, finish their ciggies, walk into the sunshine each carrying an outlawed cross bow and arrow. They both look
around for something at which to shoot, see BIGKOOK'S
unguarded van, walk the 100 yards take aim, blowing out two
of the brand new tires, then run back to the safety
of their mommy and dad's motor home and hide. BIGKOOK
hears two loud pops, gets a sinking feeling in his gut,
runs back to the "Great White", circles it and sees the two flattened new tires, both with long arrows protruding from
them. This was too much for the BIGKOOK to stomach.
BIGKOOK stood on the "primitive dirt road" looking for
assistance, and not a Ranger in sight.
TUBESTEAK/WHAT'S.NEXT

DATELINE 6/14/2004 SPECIAL TO THE PENNY SAVER
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, TELEAGA HAS BEEN THE BRUNT
of any and all jokes at San Onofre. First it was
Rock 'n Roll Ladies and Volleyballing Men,
Haw'n Surf Club, bocci guys, frisbiers, and
rock-collectors, in reality it wasn't any of them.
Nope, it's the insurgence of Inland Empire folk. Yes,
Norco, Corona, and yesterday a family reunion/picnic
from West Covina. PAVING THE WAVE film company was
doing finishing touches on their film. During a reel
change this fellow wandered over to the set. He said he
and his family adored coming to this beach as it was
peaceful, tranquil, and quiet, all on the same day.
He had all the "de'riguer", Stewart board, Morey
Boogie, XM leash, San Onofre license plate holder
Quicksilver's, and two burly animals who couldn't
stop drooling. BIGKOOK asked him if he knew where
Azusa Blvd. is, and the guy said sure, I live on Azusa.
He said the people here are sure friendly. I questioned
the visitor about Park dues increase 7/1/2004. No problem,
it's the cheapest game in town, adding it's paltry $20.00
for Club membership. Hell, I pay $2,500.00 a year for golf
club privileges. I guess he's right. I think
the SOSC BOD have a friend for life.
TUBESTEAK/BIENVENIDOS