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FIRST, CLICK THE HURRICANE LOGO ABOVE !
Good Ol' 'Nofre is sorta of the half-way house to reality.
To have been a real world-class beach, such as Waikiki,
Malibu, or Bondi Beach, all 'Nofre needed, since 1952,
is some real characters like Gov.George Wallace, Turkey
Lurkey, Chicken Little, Foxey Loxey, Bull Conner,
Max Rafferty! and Gidget, along with Rosa Parks and
Sally from the Valley. The real characters of the world
never made it to San Onofre back in the day. Does
anybody actually remember James Arness, or as far as that
goes, Phil Edwards? Add J.J.Moon, Fred Stroble, Kathy Fiscus,
Arnie Ginsberg, Babe Ruth, and you got good times. Also, If you
don't know Jimmy Fisher, you don't know Bo Diddley Squatt!

Written by Jack Flash.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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The split second Rick Crouton slammed into the trough,
he bailed, placing all trust into the makeshift 18' cord
attached to ankle and Swastika 100# log. Now, the log
picked up a handful of moe, dragging the cord, and
Crouton in its wake. After fifty yards, "Snatch",
the staggering beach drunks, realized Rick was in
severe trouble crying out for fresh air, the heavy log
was not going to surrender him. Although it's been long
forgotten, there was a berm offshore, harboring a giant
man-eating clam the size of a VW bug, called Frenchman's
Hump. As Rick Crouton's waterlogged body neared
the giant clam the clam's eye lit up like a X-Mass Tree.
Rick's near dead body got within ten feet of the writhing
clan, it's huge shell opened trapping Crouton. The Swastika
11'2" log came to an abrupt halt, the tension on the nylon 18'
"leash" tightened--TWOING--the cord snappef, leaving Rick
victim of the horrific devil-clam. . Once again the riderless log
regained full momentum on the swell. Dr.Wilkes, EddieMacBee,
Stammerhead, Pappy, and "Snatch", watched from shore as the
log drifted in the shorrepound. Oh, Sweet Jesus, fellows, what
shall we do?

Written by Dick Sears.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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Well, they taught you bocci-ballers and Trick or Treators a
lessen Monday night. Masquerade and English are not
necessary to mooch free food in the USA nowadays. The
swarm worked, gringos fell in love with the hordes of ninos
up from la frontera. On Chistmas Tree Lane alone $22,
worth of hand-outs were given during a 3 hour period without
a thank you gringo given. Boy, the 'Nofre regulars will love
San Diego's Gaslamp District when they go to Tijuana with
freeThanksgiving Dinner for all their new amigos. Too many
problemos to dwell on, so were gonna do a tribute to the
first bona-fide dead "Nofre surf guy. Have any of you bocci-
ballers and stroller pushers ever heard of Rick Crouton? Rick
was an adventurer non-parralell, he invented the first portable
leash made from discarded clothesline twine. Rick and his teen-age
son "Snatch", arrived in 1949 ready for sction. Crouton pulled
from is Utility Panel Van his 11'2" Pacific Homes Swastiki board,
placed it gently on the sand adjacent to Dr.Barney's thatched
hut. 'Snatch" inserted an eylet scre into the mahogany tailblock,
screwed it in real good, threaded the 18' clothesline through
the eylet, gave it a few cinches making sure everything was up
to snuff.. Rick nodded approval, asked "Snatch" to apply a swab
of Johnson's Floor Wax, lug the 100# board to the shorebreak,
and plop it in. Across the old dirt road, McBride, Wilkes, Dowden,
and Leland Baker, were laughing so hard they were crying. That bugged
"Snatch", he yelled to those guys to be quite. Rick Crouton steadied himself
on the Swastika board, attached his makeshift clothesline leash and
paddled to the reef. Rick sat there awaiting a set soon on the way.
Movement in the water caused Rick to knuckle down, he did and
a 10 footer lifted him up, propelling him forward. Dropping to the
trough, he thought this would be a great leash-check wave. Rick
got good speed down the wave's face, checked the leash, it felt good
so he bailed shooting the huge log foward TO BE CONTINUED!

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San Clemente has acquired a Sister City, if you said San Ysidro
was the city, you were correct. Familias con Matricula
Counselor cards swarmed Ave.Bootstrap like flies on dogschitt.
Repulsively, middle aged El Granja Senors y esposas blatantly
approached a "Casa de Gringo" with no costume, but treasure sacks
the size of parachutes. Not long ago, they showed an invasion of
Mexicans breaking through the border crossing at San Yskidrow,
caught on tape, it looked like last night. Li'l Homestead children
asked their mummies and daddies why those people don't dress
in costumes. Probably, cause they don't know what they are. Well,
I never got into Halloween because at Malibu those freaks up there
always put razor blades, ground glass, and Murine in the treats.
Haw, could you imagine yourself going down to Ensanada walking
up demanding free food. Well, I can't! Btw, how do you spell
Policia?

Written by Ichabod Crane
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATTES

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http://www.arunningstroller.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=ARS&Product_Code=BJQTriple&Category_Code=BJ

Tonight an invasion of sorts from Pico-Rivera, Montebello,
Pacoima, La Puente, and all points north, shall take place
on San Clemente's "Ave. de Trick or Treaters" starting at
5:00 PM sharp. The above four wide Black Mariah stroller
is equipped with extra storage for candy, churros, Milk Duds,
and their favorite item, tools and automotive parts rather than
candy corn and Carmel Popcorn Balls. A tracer will track ihe
the candied apple insurgents as they swoop down on our "Little
Spanish Village by the Sea". How do these people know about
all the freebies, as they have no idea of trick or treat, maybe their
uncles and cousins show them the ropes. Don't forget tools, sparkplugs,
pliers, and anything else they can take back to Mexico.

Written by George W. Bush.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES.

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WELCOME TO THE BETTY FORD CENTRE

There are some instances where Dennis Earl D.
said, "Been there. Done that", and he said it with
such aplomb. Yesterday morning I arrived at the
'Rib", boy was my face red, an embarrassing red. Not
long ago in the day, Breeder's Cup was the fancy of
all Ol' 'Nofre intherer fall. Headquarters for Tommy Lee
Danny Bennettt, Waveback, PT, Paul Carter, Brian
Ephriam, Rick Hazzard Officer Bob, and all the true
greats of San Onofre's Legend's Community. Yeah,
that was then, this is now. The Rib's entrance looks
just like Starbucks Malibu. Standing outside, smoking,
hacking, veins popping at the temple, yapping incessantly,
dregs of Bloody Marys dripping from swollen jowles,
it was too much for me to stomach. I went home,
pulled the venetians uttering a prayer of, "Wake me
when it's over." Poor San Clemente, you're still
stuck as "The Little Spanish Town by the Sea".
Well you know the rest, I hope! The worst thing to
happen was BIGKOOK and MT won Big Time, and
said they won't hve to work another day the rest of
their life. All they want to do is drink, go to the beach, surf,
while laying in the sun. The very reason I'm so happy for them is,
someone says it's free breakfast for me, well, BIGKOOK
says they wanted six scoots for the grub. "Say what!"
I yelled, "This stuff is free". Some guy in the kitchen
yelled, "Not anymore!" Maybe, the reason BIGKOOK
and MT won all that cash is they're humanitarians,
tank's youse guys.

http://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

Written by Richard Henry Dana.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES