OH, THIS IS THE WORST OF THE WORST. City News Service released,

over the wire, and KFI News 640, a lone mountain cycler was attacked

and horribly mutilated, disemboweled, and half devoured headfirst,

in nearby Whiteman Canyon, Orange County, CA. A routine search of the

bicycle's license plate indicates the hopeless victim may have been a "Mark

Reynolds" of our own San Clemente. Santa Ana Coroners office

arrived at Rancho San Onofre, asking NeoN if he would accompany them

to the County Morgue to identify the remains. Ouch! NeoN agreed,

walked into the refrigerated holding box, walked out with tears,

shaking his head to and fro, his face ashen white, unable to

speak, collapsed down to the concrete slab. To shaken to speak,

he lay there weeping as if he'd lost his best friend. Ranger

Dairywimple arrived as an almost next of kin, asking NeoN if

he could shed light on the tragedy. NeoN gulped a hugh

breath, stopped sobbing, and told the Ranger the remains

were so mangled and half devoured he couldn't tell, but it

better not be, because Mark Reynolds owes him 50 scoots

cash.

TUBESTEAK/YIKES!

LIGHTS! ACTION! CAMERA! The BIGKOOK is back from Atascadero

State Mental Institution and the Media want a crack at him. Get this,

"Glory Hole Productions" in conjunction with "Tailpipe Films", to

begin negations Monday in "Tingletown", USA to discuss the

"shooting schedule" and "show order" of the project set for

March at Rancho San Onofre Family Center. BIGKOOK should

gross $750,000.00 and a free board for the rights. Way to

go BIGKOOK.

TUBESTEAK/AND.ACTION

DAWN IN ATASCADERO IS LIKE A PICTURE POSTCARD. TEAM/BIGKOOK spent

the night in a Caltrans rest stop just east of the facility housing our

BIGKOOK. It was day break, with an orange sky present in the east.

The "Great White Van" roared into action, San Diego coroners Office"

written in black paint gave it an official look. As Grunion stepped in he

said, "I have a great idea for us and BIGKOOK." On the way to the State Mental

Hospital for visiting hours, they devised a method to reclaim BIGKOOK from

his unnatural environment. The white van entered the parking area,

stopping adjacent to the blue trash bin, pulling the emergency brake,

and walked to the entrance. Grunion said, "Here take these, when we get to

BIGKOOK'S ward put them on." He passed among the TEAM light

green emergency room garments. They walked into Ward 18, over

to bed 24 where BIGKOOK sat on the edge of his cot, clutching

his Thorazine cooler with a Stelazine floater, smooth, staring

lucidly out the window. "BIGKOOK, Bro, what's happening?

BIGKOOK looked up just as Sea Cucumber shot him with a spray

of chloroform. BIGKOOK immediately fell back on his cot, unconscious.

That was Sluggo's cue, wheeling in the huge laundry bin

over to 'KOOK'S Army cot, dumped the motionless 'KOOK

into the container, pushed him through the doors, down the hall and

into the parking lot, stopping beside a blue trash bin.

Sluggo and Sea Cucumber pulled 'KOOK from the thick canvas

guerny, placing him gently into the van, loaded up and speed-shifted

out of there. "I don't think THEBIGKOOK's gonna like what he reads

about Jorge Bush wanting to give the Work Progam hombres

the gold mine and giving us the shaft.

TUBESTEAK/MEA.CULPA

WELL. WE FINALLY FOUND THE BIGKOOK. The Mercy Free Clinic,

where BIGKOOK surrendered, because of a migraine

headache New Years Day, airlifted him via AirMedivac,

to Atascadero State Mental Hospital near San luis Obisbo for

ICU observation. When the TEAM drove onto the grounds

it sent chills up their spine. Grunion said, "This is got to be bad."

They parked in the "No Parking" zone and entered the

monolithic sanctuary. The attendant took them to Ward 14

quarantine holding room where they sat in straightback

folding chairs until the BIGKOOK could be transported.

They sat twiddling there thumbs until the pneumatic

push of the massive door swung open revealing

THEBIGKOOK, barely recognizable, clutching a Thorazine

cooler with a Stelazine floater, smooth. "BIGKOOK, is that

you?" said Seaweed. "You look like death warmed over.

What have they done to you?" "Nothing, man, what's the haps?"

said BIGKOOK, barely audible. "Where am I?" Holy smokes, said

Sea Cucumber, they got him spaced out of his gourd. What

are we going to do? THEBIGKOOK whips out this plastic piccolo

and plays a tune. "We got to get him outta here. And fast," said

Onionhead. "Let's get working on it before it's too late."

TUBESTEAK/ANXIOUS

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE to go back in the water, all heck broke loose
up on the "primitive dirt road", SOSC BOD member, Craig "Killer" Ephraim found Ranger Dairywimple's hand written notes taken from Gov.Arnold's Santa Ana
News Conference on Friday. First, Taleaga wants the road paved,
their members are fed up washing their Hummers and SUV's every time they
go to the beach. The notes show it will pass and Gov.Arnold appointed Cruz Bustamente as Road Chairmen. Then, BIGKOOK, as a joke,
had "The Grunion" paint "San Diego coroners Office" on both sides of TEAMBIGKOOK'S "Great White Van" to scare Taleaga's HOA off the beach. "Killer" Craig" demanded why "The Messenger" and "Sea Cucumber" were granted permission to sleep in Lavatory #4, fronting the mosquito breeding grounds beside TEAM'S Headquarters. Ranger Dairywimple pointed out the Frost Warning was in effect and Building # 4 was now a "Homeless Shelter" until it warms up a bit.
If were at the beach I don't know if I'd want to irritate the Ranger because the SOSC
is on borrowed time down there. I guess the SOSC BOD won't accept the beach being called "Rancho San Onofre".

TUBESTEAK/TEAM/FED.UP
c.c. Alan Seymore
c.c.c. Von Morang Yachtsman
c.c.c.c. Ronald McDonald Tucson AZ/LV.NV