July 16 2004 Day 12 and counting.

Finally, Greg Noll is relaunching his world famous website. I saw his old one,
apparently that went over like the proverbial "lead balloon".  There's good news
on the horizon though, SOSC BOD has commissioned a world famous surfer
to create and direct the Club's upcoming site, featuring the best surfers in
'N0fre's non-parraleil history. Here's where you come in. The webmeister
badly needs nominations for a list of 'Nofre Legends because he can't think  
 of any himself, but that don't mean they're ain't none. If the SOSC BOD would 
let me I'd nominate Harry Beard and Dennis "The Duke Of Earl" Earl. The renown 
webmeister is wondering if there was a 'Nofre Club Song, preferably with a 
Haw'n motif.  He'd love it if anyone listened to Webley Edwards "Hawaii Calls" 
and would relay their favorite tune.  I wrote in the Haw'n War Chant. Ranger 
Ephriam said James Arness would be a terrufic Legend for the website spot, 
maybe so, but I cast my vote for Darryl "Doggie" Diamond as 'Nofre's spokesman.  
BIGKOOK went snooping around the park maintenance yard an said the  "No Drinking 
on Beach" signs are finished, ready to be installed up and down 'Nofre's  
new "Road to Bizarre". There will be large crowds and a larger waiting line this  weekend.
 
SpeciaL summer update 7/16/2004 0530 hours
TUBESTEAK/TOLD.YOU.SO

July 14 2004 We miss Dairymple.

Things are happening fast at 'Nofre, too fast for comfort.

It looks as though the "primitive dirt road" days are

numbered, this time for sure. Dairywimple's back somewhere

seeking fresh constructional advice for the new and improved

replacement "Road to Bazaar", featuring black tar, double

white lines, diagonal parking stalls, and best of all

decorator parking meters, lime green on blue, with

a 30 minute time limit. I'm almost positive this ain't gonna'

set too good with the SOSC BOD. Last evening, after ukelele

concert Ranger Ephriam was at the laundry-mat venting his

frustrations to anyone who'd listen, citing that old country

stand by, "You Can Take This Job and Shove It." I don't blame

the Ranger, it's a thankless job'. But, anyhoo, surfing's a

rough sport, especially here at 'Nofre. The boys can't handle

any part of Trestle, Inners, Outers, Churches, let alone

Cotten's. The only excitement 'Nofre guys have is when the

trudge down to their secondary break, get this, the deadly

"WALL". YIKES! SPLAT! BIFF! KABOW! EEK!

TUBESTEAK/BALLOONS
Special to Skateboasrd Magazine

Daily Sun Post 7/13/2004
Jessica Peralta is a journalist who does Beach Town pieces.

Jessica did a spot about "The First Lady of Surfing" GIdget

Kohner of Pacific Palisades. Gidget at the end of this

month, will be doing one of her famous "book signing" at

Cowabunga's Ice Cream Parlour on Del Mar St. I know Gidget

in town is going to frost a certain SOSC BOD member. The

Daily Sun Post "tell it like it is" during the real "glory

days" of surfing. Laird, Gidget, TUBESTEAK, the piece has

it all. More good news:lakesurfer blog has hit an all time

high. Darywimple and Ranger Ephriam are working Chicago with

mid west accents. It's a great read, we only hope he doesn't

choke and become obsessed with writer's block.

Special to City News Service
TUBESTEAK/PRINT.MEDIUM

Never ending parties at 'Nofre 7/13/2004

This was a real surprise. Riverside's 4-H Club hit 'Nofre like

a ton of bricks Sunday, guess what they brought. You're

correct, boxes of avocados the size of watermelons ready for

tons of guacamole, that is if anybody knows how to make the

stuff. Deacon John, Brother Tom, and Pastor Andy, head the

Inland Empire Farmer's Co-op Society, they came to 'Nofre to

share harvest with us needy beach peep. Now, the only problem,

if it is one, we ain't got no juicy, ripe, lemons, no Serrano

hot chilis, cilantro, Hibanaro hot sauce, tomato, onion, or

garlics. Good news, if we locate a 5 gallon galvanized tub

we can mix the stuff right on the beach. Bad news, no tiny 7oz.

teeny,little, Butt beers, no sir! 94o Herradura Horseshoe

Tequila, straight up and down the hatch! Just as the last

comic standing, it's gonna'be the last surfer standing. Yowzah!

With the guacamole, the homeless regulars claim they have

access to Jumbo Malaysian Shrimp in order to toss on the barbie.

Modello Brewery (Corona) is supplying all you can drink from

the fountain kegger. This ain't no Club function, so naturally

there's no huge admission fee to suck that hard earned money

from your fanny-pack. P.S. We also need jacima and lots of

salty chips for dipping.

Special to the Alcohol Newsletter
TUBESTEAK/CINCO.DE.AUGUSTO

July 12 Monday--The End Is Near!
I just don't know why they'd send valuable merchandise in

an uncovered flatbed stake truck, well, they did and the

fool thing capsized up by Ave Christianitos, spilling

its cargo all over the grease laden I-5. One hundred eighty

four 50th Anniversary Bulky Tees were a complete

and total loss. Ironically, the SOSC BOD says someone's gonna'

pay for this. Now, guess who the delivery boy was, and has

anyone seen either hide or hair of Harry Beard, who was on a

work furlough this weekend. It seems Harry reached for a cold

one, lost control of the vehicle, spun around íinstigating a

twenty two car pile up, in lanes one thru four, causing a

massive sig-alert from left to right. CHP said if Harry

knew how to execute a truckers double roll knot all the Club's

merchandise would still be intact. The Luau was way more

successful than anticipated, the Club well deserved all

accolades issued. Any and all gripes were regarding

ticket prices and parking fee increase. A newcomer to 'Nofre

said it's cheaper to attend a Lakers game then come to the

beach, paying $10.00 to sit in line two hours. Oh, to be a part

of surfing.

Special to Longboard Magazine
TUBESTEAK/CELEBRATIONS