"Aw gee, Kahoona, I'm going to the Luau," said Franzie, exitedly.
Malibu had Five Star Luaus a long time ago, nothing elaborate
as the 'Nofre's Dog and Pony show. They didn't have the wonderful
food 'Nofre has, only because everyone was tanked, and couldn't,
sorta like 'Onofre during the real old days of the 50s. Although
dá' Boo didnt have Haw'n War Drums, we had to settle for Jan and Arnie,
Eric Clapton and War, the Four Preps, and gaggles of coosie. What
was nice, Malibu partied like the was no tomorrow. Sadly there were
no family farm dogs running around begging for scraps. Tines have
changed, but change may or may not be good. At least they didn't
serve horsemeat filets, only plump turkey franks, and casseroles
today.

Written by Martha Stewart.
CRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Enough is enough, we now return to a beautiful pastime
of surfboard riding. Rangers Dairywimple an Ephriam are
awarded a portable hydraulic winch and sling on a one year
trial lease from the Oceanside Harbormaster. Because [due to]
of the increase in surf deaths at "The 'Nofre", Rangers
and Lifeguards will have a canvas body lift operated with a
hydraulic hoist. This operation will save time getting the
cadaver to shore, and to either the trauma center or the county
morgue. This apparatus will be available for viewing at Dogpatch
this Saturday and Sunday. Ranger Ephriam is selling tickets at
$5.00 each. All proceeds will go to SOSC BOD 50th Anniversary
Bulky Tees which has since sold out, but available July 14, 2005

Written by Capt.Hook
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Thank goodness a recruiter from the MINUTEMAN TEAM will be at Old 'Nofre
ths Sunday collecting names for qualified volunteers to patrol the
California Mexican Frontera [border] to dissuede the influx of
"Bush/Fox Bienvenidos Amigos Amnisty Program". Although SOSC BOD
opposes any such tactics a recruiting team will be at Old Man's
begining at 8:00 AM sharp. There's an old adage, Ïf TROUBLE come
knocking at your door doesn't mean you have to invite him in and
offer it free everything.

LONDEN UNDER SEIGE! WAR BULLITON: BUSH BOASTS
"WE WILL NOT YIELD", MANY DEAD, THOUSANDS WOUNDED!

Written by Reuters News Service
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Repent again, the end is near!
Jeb Bush; Flaco Salazar; Chato Martinez; George Bush;
Smiley Villaregosa; Lalo Gutierrez, Lorreta Sanchez, are
all people that are running the USM, formerly USA.
Well now, did you ever take time to consider why
the Bush Bros are pro open border?

Written by Cantinflas.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Boy, did I get our signals mixed--and how!
I thought the Julio del Quatro Fiesta was last night, not
yesterday afternoon. Because of my addlepated mind, I skipped
the "blast" of the year that they had in San Clemente. Maybe,
just maybe, I thought it may have beem a showcase for dozens
of 3 year old oddlers, their mothers strutting around with a
SEG on their face, daring other Moms to show how adorable their
little tyke is with their trendy name included [most with names Tug,
Cissy, Igor, and Missy]. The "Parade of Kids" began at 1:00 PM
going till gawd knows when. Was my face red when I found out
they had a Trepidition Competition [pharting contest] between
Paul Boomer and Lord Windeshmere. One thing I did miss, was
introductions of the Legends of Old 'Nofre. Yep, Paul Carter,
Freddie the Legend, Jeffery Luton, and Amish Andy, were there to
meet and greet fans before their lifetime induction into one of
the game's truly pestigous orginizations "Urinal Row". An indication
how difficult nominations are, John and Tom Wilson were Honorary
Mention probably because it was a popularity not a drinking
contest. Finally, one disturbing item, Ranger Ephriam and Hal
Dairywimple were turned away at the door. The next Gathering of
the Tribe will be "The James Irwin Memorial Fund Bocci Ball
Tournament of Champions Foundation" July 26, 2005.

footnote: SEG/schitt eating grin.

Written by Oswald Rabbit
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH SURFING, TOTALLY AND IRREVOCABLY. GOOD BY, AND GOD BLESS!

Written by Hymie Bullsap,
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES