.

Today, at the "RIB", JT is featuring for his close friends
family, colleagues, soothsayers, Johnny -come-lately's,
Beach-near-do-wells, and all the regulars, a.k.a, "atmosphere".
It starts at 9:30 AM don't be late, cause those chow-hounds
will eat everything in sight and that's not nailed down. For
example you've got the left-over pay day boozers, roofers,
framers, tile guys, sheet-metal workers, pool cleaners, aluminum
can collectors, will work for food freeway exit bums, just about any
jobs the Mexicans won't take, but surfers will. The home-style
country scramble, features thick, triple yolk, ranch eggs, plump
swollen natural casing sausage, potatoe slams, toast, butter, coffee,
complimentary digestives, Bloody Marys, and ice cold water to put
out the fire. Breeder's Cup follows breakfast. Good Luck, especially
you Mortgage Brokers.

http://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

Weitten by Aames Home Loan.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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Yesterday NeoN did a spot about Santa Monica's "Heal the
Bay". Not long ago I appeared in a commercial for "HTB".
Now, Santa Monica, Malibu, D&W's, Latigo Canyon, all the
way to Rincon, were my stomping grounds, along with Will
Roger's State Beach. Since the '50's that whole bunch of
beaches from Roadside, Sorrento, and Sunset, were innundated
with used giant rubbers, and trash, and germs, the worst infected
was Gumuu Reef, north of the Bel Air Bay Club. As the Mayor of
Malibu, I was invited to yacht gatherings at MDR (Marina del Rey)
you wouldn't believe the Celebrated Big Wave Riders who dropped
huge plums over the railing, and that ain't no Bull. Guys from Malibu
would leave diarrhea trails from the Pier to the Colony. NeoN's
BLOG entry brought memories of how the Bay used to be. When
the real tragedy began, immigrants from "down south" rode
the freights from San Diego to Dana Point settled in San Juan
Creek using rhe Creek as the tribe latrine. It would rain heavily,
flushing SJC into the waters of Doheny State Park. Yuck!

http://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

Written by Llavase los Manos.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

If it ain't ome thing it's t'uther. After the dream
blew everyone to bits in the ready mix concrete
truck explosian, the State cancelled all activities
until the cadavers could be identified and taken
to the beacvh morgue. That did us no good, Mr.
Oshier was unable to pinpoint the first boy, or
girl, to ride San Onofre in the day. You know,
it might have been Eve Fletcher. I guess we'll
never know because the Club's focus will be
on Thanksgiving Day Festivities, and their turkey
chunks microwaved to perfection. I know one
fellow who won't fumble the ball, and that's J.T.
and Breeder's Cup Breakfast day at "The Rib" on
Saturday.

Written by Harry Henson.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

.

Remember as a young child a ghoul would chase you,
no matter how fast you ran the monster would always
catch up to you and bite you in half, or you swam in a
pool and a shark came up the drain and swallow you
headfirst, all that stuff was horrible, however, it was
always a bad dream. But, yesterday I couldn't tell if
were a dream or what. Click the "Hurricane Alert"
up on top, I'll relate the dream. The day was clear as
crystal, as usual the gulls squawked incessantly, squirrels
chased their bushy tails. Hal Diarywimple and Ranger
Ephriam watched closely as the ready-mix truck inched
along the antiquated dirt road nearing Latrine #4.
An Egyptian leaped from the cab as the truck coasted
to a halt. The mixing part, unbeknownst to the Rangers,
was crammed with high-density explosives. KAWBALOOM,
the mushroom cloud was visible all the way to Oceanside.
After th smoke cleared, San Onofre was gone, there was
no sign of th Rangers. I hope this didn't frieghten you,
it was only a dream.

Written by Osama bin Kook.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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HELP! I am being held captive in a Chinese Fortune
Cookie Factory. There is more crappe going on in
this kicky planet of ours, well, I just can't believe it.
Therefore, in an effort to make the playing field level,
please click the above Flood Logo, PSA (Public Service
Announcement). The Surfrider Foundation's going to
watch this like a hawk, cause if it works real good for us
BLOGGERS, SRF will match it for their LRF
(Legends Relief Fund) which makes up for all beach bums
who have no Social Security account, because when they
finally found a job it was always UTT (under the table) no
retirement benefits. Ordinarily, The Diary receives 3,500
hits a month so that's good for you and your surfing bros.
Do this, and try it daily, Log on to TUBESTEAK'S DAIRY,
when it comes on screen, hit the Flood Logo above the BLOG.
Here's the good news, you can do it as often as you wish without
feeling guilty. God bless!

Written by Anonymous.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Gee whiz, got so excited about the search for the first
human that surfed "The Old 'Nofre" I forgot to mention
how far down the ladder she's falling. First and foremost,
people will not pay $10.00 for their Annual Pass which
entitles you to park in puddles of mud slop because SOSC
BOD is adamant about keeping the road archaic, but when
we find the "San Onofre Oldest Timer"we're gonna ask him
what is was like in the day. Thank the Lord I hadn't been to
'Nofre in a few days, but as I drove in all I saw were old,
thin, guys, with dishwater gray pony-tails, standing on the
log talking on their cell phone. Haw'n Gardens has throttled
the community dirt road, parking helter-skelter six across.
TEAMBIGKOOK won't go near Latrine #4 because of the
warning posted, citing unsanitary conditions. The new
Latino stroller models (2006) were on display, strictly
hispanic, lotsa black and sangria (blood) color. Hecha en
Santa Ana.

Written by El Gringo Loco.

BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

.

When you do stuff in surfing, other than stand on the splinter
laden logs at poor old 'Nofre looking at baby stroller adds for
the "Little Nipper" you receive uncomfortable questions about
'Nofre, mainly who was the first old soul to ride the spot. If you
needed a definitive answer, whom would you ask? Well, we went
down there looking for the source, E.J.Oshier. The only other
knowledgeable rider would be Woody Ekstrom, however, he is
sometimes incommunicado, which as you know just south
of Incognito. Mr.Oshier is easily the Professor of Surfing
Memorabilia. Mr.Oshier was attending Services and was
Incommunicado. The important part, however, is we drove
in past Gatekeeper Don Wells. If Gatekeeper Don was asked
who was one of the play by play team when the Angels
first started playing at Wrigley Field in L.A., his answer
would be, strangely enough, Don Wells. We're returning
Wednesday to catch up with Mr.Oshier, and get to the
bottom of this matter. We know Mr.Oshier will not designate
Dr.Wilkes, Eddie Mcbride, Hammerhead, Al Gee, James Arness,
or Bill Banards. Btw, Mr.Oshier was Commander in Chief of
Kook Shack scrubbing in 1951, his subordinate a young Miki Dora.
I hope he says Fritz "Magitz" Watson, "King of All Late Take Off
Guys" was the first to surfboard ride at San Onofre.

Written by John 3:16
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES