Bush frozen with paralysis on news that Osama bin Laden
demands $600.00 a barrel of crude with no end in sight up
from $67.00 a barrell. Bush collapses over enviromentolist
demands that no offshore drilling be permitted or Artic
fuel be brought above ground. Bush has gone off to Cancun
with spiritual advisor, Vincente Fox.

Written by Sadam Hussein.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Alcohol and the surfer over 40. "I always surf better after a few beers,
Dude!" Boy, are they kidding. Once that forty-plus guy looses that half
step, he's lost it, and heain'tt gonna get it back. Sad but true. But
that's academic, because just got a callfromm "PAVING THE WAVE" film
company up north by Sacramento and asked if they've been run over by
the ACLU you know whom's, he said no they've been hit by Muslim Turbin
Hheads who've taken over the city parks, smoke
hash-hish while chanttng prayers 24 hours a day, however, the cops
can't do anything causr the
ACLU says it

Writtem by Mabamna Huzzah.
BRUCE SAVAGE SABD ASSOCIATES

Once again, the wonderful Surfrider Foundation, rose to
the occasion, issuing "PAVING THE WAVE" cast and crew
a $1,750,000.00 grant for "LEGENDS OF THE WORLD" for
project completion, unfortunately, nobody from the SOSC
BOD qualified for Eternal Entombment. "PAVING THE WAVE"
resumes world-wide filming in two weeks. A California
Independent will tape this week's episode of Surfer's Healing
at The Old Timer's palm frond dried-out shack. Daily Sun Post
will do another story on the "Healing" gang this weekend. Surfing
has come a long way since the day of Dr.Barney, Eddie McBride,
and Peanuts Larson. South Bay Surfer/Shaper Bing Copeland's
book will be out momentarily. It looks as if the San Onofre Legend's
book is next. I wonder how much these Legends make, I bet it's a lot.
There is word floating around that Surfrider is willing to supplement
Legend's SSI monthly check.

Written by Isaiah Paskowitz.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES.

This is nothing but good news with a capital "N".
Yes, surfings a dead end street, especially at
"good old San Onofre USA 92672", therefore, we're
dedicating "TUBESTEAK'S DAIRY" to buying, eating,
and consuming high saturated fat, heavy sauces, and
rich foods, guaranteed artery blockers, featuring
sausages, hot-links, deviled egges, mayonaisse,
butter, cheese, bacon, biscuits and gravy, french
fries, Gallo hard salami, all prepared by Chef de
Course, Officer Bob. Chef OB's selection for today
is double plump, swollen, Bratwurst, soaked in Cheeze
Whiz sauce jalapeno style. It is reccomended if you're
over 50, still surfing at 6:00 AM in cold 'Nofre waters,
check immediatly with a licensed cardiologist. Don't
eat then enter the friged early morning without checing
with the Lifeguard. Tomorrow, we're having the recipes
for Legendary, Dr.James Irwin's 91st B-Day feast in
2 weeks, featuring user friendly cooked vegies and soft
tofu for the chewing impaired, pureed in an industrial
sized blender. Tapioca puddings and soft ice creams included.

Written by Peter Jennings
BRYCE SAVAGE CATERING SERVICES

Well okay now, beside your Republican President Bush,
who else s making money off the IRAQI war. Now stand up America,
tell us, please. Does =W= not want Vincente's Pemex oil, wkat
point is there sacrificing, on a daily basis, American troops.
All Republicans, you know who you are, look at the smirk on his
face when he walks across the grass giving his sissy finger wave
to his ever faithful press corp.

Written by Capt.Dale Dye
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

We knew if we ran a piece about show-peep, tinsel-town,
show-folk, Daily Variety, Hollywood Reporter, breakdowns.
Talent Searches, it would bring yhe Glamerous people to
"The Entertainment Capitol of the World", San Onofre
State Surfrider State Beach, and it did. Guess who's
back, with 15 Airline Stews and Community College
Cheer Leaders [female], yep "Joleene the Dairy Queen"
from "Taleaga by the Sea" is back, and not a minuye too
soon. It seems the bocci-ballers has caused Old 'Nofre
to reach new lows with their giant aluminum balls clanging
on the filthy dirt road. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Always a crowd pleaser with SOSC BOD, Surfer's Healing XXVII
will take place this coming Friday at Old Fellow's Shack.

Written by Carlos Ramon Orozco
BRUCE SAVAGE SABD ASSOCIATES