Did you know Louisiana is a state that voted for George W. Bush
in the last 2 elections. Who are "They and Them" who
held up event assistance. They and them are Republicans
led by George W. Bush. Everyone in their right mind would
vote again for George E. Bush. Recap 9/11/01, WTC Towers,
illegal immigrants, nothing done about exorbitant fuel prices
ongoing slaughtered in Afghanistan, and Iraq. Too many
people feel Bush is doing a a simply marvelous job as President.
Guess who going to vote "straight ticket". Yep, all the hard core
Republicans. One might ask why worry about al-Qeada with
all the devistatuon, illegal immigrants. Hurricanes do more
damage than terrorits, so why does Bush waste time and
money in Iraq. BUSH, wake up and smell the sausage
once in your life.

Written by Tony Mohammed
BBRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

It just didn't seem wise to invite the SOSC BOD to the contest's
meeting of judges, Beach Marshals, Seymour's concessionaires
on call that weekend, and chaired by Park Ranger
Hal Diarywimple. The briefing was held at "Chapo's Casa de Muerte"
on PCH. Seymour announced the FAQ's would be screened by
Dairywimple before asking the judges (just in case).
First question, of course, what do you guys look for when up on the Judge's
Pavilion? That question was easy, they all said coffee and breakfast
burritos. My favorite was are you guys serious about interference,
after all this isn't hockey? That bought a chuckle. Unless you physically
remove your opponent from his board there is no interference), don't be
fooled by shattering fibrously. No you cannot drink alcohol unless you're
on a break. Jimmy Gamboa's new agent will inform the SOSC BOD
for the "what and what's not acceptable" for the Celebrity Buffet.
Mr.Gamboa is not accustomed to cold cuts on day-old marked down
French Bread. I hope for the SOSC BOD' sake there's a Milton's in town.

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BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES INC.

Allan "Splash" Seymour weighed in last night at 345 lbs. for the
SOSC Contest. Confidently, he invited all the judges for a
wonderful pre-contest supper at the Ritz Carleton Dana
Point Resort, dinner and drinks. It looks as if he may be
plying the fellows for some contest pointers. Speaking of
uptowners, "Jimmy Gamboa is in the brand new Teen Player
Mag story [cir. 2,500.000], is eyingthe SOSC Amatuer Surfing
Contest of which he is excepted to prevail, blowing everyone out
of the warer. Hey now, it looks as if coverage will be aimed at
BIGKOOK, Allan Seymore, and now Jimmy's a player. Jimmy's
a lock for the "Pop Procter Perpetual Trophy" Surfer of the contest

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Written by Joe Shlub.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Some guy came to the beach for a BK New Orleans Disaster interview.
The first question really fried BK. "Well, BK, how do you feel about
*President Bush asking you to send money to Red Cross and KFI640
so he can keep sending bundles of money, $86,000,000,000.00 to rebuild
Iraq. Are you going to support your wonderful Republican President, and
what is your opinion of Mexi' President Vincente Fox? Hey, BK, where you
going, come back, were not done!" Oh dear, somebody ought to stick a fork
in BK.

Written by Alfred E. Neuman
BRUCE SAVAGE CATERING INC.

Now that Allan Seymour let the cat out of the bag, announcing his
entry in the SOSC contest, every stumblebum wan2bee surfer
wants a piece of him (and they'll get it). Ranger Ephriam, acting
on Dairywimple's endorsement, allowed a special "ÃSSISTED
LIVING" division for the "Birdman--Seymour" Last Surfer Standing
Winner Take All Division. An added enticementst to the "ASSISTED
LIVING" Division is a $1,500.00 donation by AARP to the high point
score in the. special event. A special thanks to Forest Lawn Catering
Services for judges' lunches. Dr.Bob Scott will be on hand adminsitering
the adjuticator's pre-contest eye exams. More good news, Dr. Jim Irwin
volunteered his services as Public Address Announcer for the historical
event.

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BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES INC.

Yesterday, Jim and Jann Kempton put on a feast of uncanny proportions
celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary in The Pool Club at San Clemente.
Kempton, as you may know, was Editor of Surfer Mag, editor of
San Onofre Surfing Club's recent Yearbook. He sure knows how to give a
Surf Party par excellence. Catered Five Star chow, salads, A-1 Fish and Chips,
moist, juicy, baby back ribs, mahi-mahi, barbacoa chicken tenders, cocktails,
mesqiute cooked brisket, cheesecake, no beer guzzling bocci-ballers,
no animals crapping on the beach. All food was fresh, and all you could
eat. Invitees, all stalwarts: Peter Townend, George Downing, Art Brewer,
Jeff Devine, Mickey Munoz, Steve and Debbie Pezman, with the old mob.
en masse. Someone mentioned it was as if you were at a Surfer's Mag Annual
Awards Gathering. A very important announcement came from Toast Master
General, Allan Seymour declaring his entrance inio El Granja Senor heat SOSC
contest, swearing he will emerge victorious over the always pesky "Birdman" himself, demamding he wear white jersy [#1 seed] throughout

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BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSICIATES INC.

It's always good how a change of scenery, especially when it's
"Yorba Linda Linda's" hometown can broaden your spectrum.
So yesterday the mob took the 243 out to YL for Adam Paskowitz/Tracey
Todd elaborate outdoor Weddyng Centre featuring a Haw'n Luau
with the woiks, and hula-hula music. Even though it was hotter than
a you know what, the evening air was heavy with mist mixed with
Magnolia blossoms, simply breath taking. Instead of going to the real
Inland Empire, San Onofre, to wait in the ever-nauseating line, we're
going to Jim Kempton's 25th Anniveresry shin dig at Ole Hanson's
exclusive beach house at tje end of Pico (thank Gawd it's I/O). I know
who's gonna be there, you're correct no SOSC BOD's. Have a
great day.

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BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES INC.