December 3, 2004 A new beginning!

I've had a wonderful chance to venture into a great hobby. I sit in my
basement separating assorted nuts and bolts while listening to talk radio,
KFI 640 AM. That's when I hear of the severe frost advisory. Rather
than sit in the toasty warm cellar, I went to Old "Nofre to offer assistance
to the homeless souls adjacent to Building #4, toilets 1 and 2. I think
I was a little late because Dairywimple and Ephriam had just herded
TEAMBIGKOOK into a State van, transporting them to the homeless
shelter at the Montessori School in South San Clemente. Once there, the
fellows were offered hot black coffee, warm Postum, and assorted day old
donuts from Donut Planet. A television was set up beside the canvas army
surplus cots, and a Holy Bible was given each homeless person. It appears
there's no let up in the Artic Cold Snap so it looks as if the unemployed
landscapers and framers will be there for a while.

Written by Joe Doakes
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES.

November 29, 2004 Break into show biz!

In order to make things fair, the San Onofre Chamber of Commerce
signed Dairywimple and Ephriam as casting directors for the 2005
Laguna Beach "Pageant of the Masters" Parade of Champions float.
The breakdown calls for six young and sassy platnium blond surfer
types, model thin, tall with a swaggering attitude, giant smile with loads
of white. Blue eyes a definite plus. Glossy 8x10's willbe acceptable, however,
we will be unable to retorn them. In order to obtain a naked effect, all
six candidates will be spray painted with gold metalflake prior to each
pertormance. Women need not apply as the float's theme is "King of Sodomy".
Well, good luck guys, knock yourselves out.

Written by Kevin Bruce.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND HIS ASSOCIATES

November 29, 2004 The word's out!

In the "name of good taste," the Laguna Beach Pageant of the Masters
signed Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam as casting agents to
wrangle six platinum blond types from Old 'Nofre to ride on San
Onofre's Chamber of Commerce float this coming July [2005], Parade
of Champions in Laguna Canyon. The fellows selected should be ultra
slim, sort of muscular, model tall, and possess tons of self confidence
with a swaggering attitude. In order to appear nude, they will be gilded
with gold flakes over their body. It would help if you could furnish
the C.D's with a glossy 8X10 TCU before your audition. Well guys, good
luck to all of you.

Written by Kevin Bruce CSA
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

November 28, 2004 Strange but true!

Last evening NBC ran a spot about the Black Dahlia. Senator Luton
recalls seeing her not long after WW II, when she stopped at Old 'Nofre
on her way to Solano Beach from Hollywood. We saw photos of her
paddling around the shorebreak on a plank loaned her by "Peanuts"
Lawson. We think the culprit sawed her in half, you're not gonna'
believe this, but to make Elizabeth Short.

http://www.prairieghosts.com/beth.html
http://www.bethshort.com/morgue.htm

Written by Detective McBride
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES