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We don't make the news we just report it. Friday morning
three ultra black, deeply tinted, Chevrolet Suburbans, two
silver Hummer 4's , a white Ford Excursion towing a
matching utility trailer, "GROMS RULE" emblazoned
in red, black, yellow, and orange, flames on the sides.
It appeared to be a surf school of sorts speeding down
the antiquated dirt road, gremmies singing, hooting, and
full of ruckus. Sleeping things off in his "Great White Van"
BIGKOOK hears the oncoming racquet, lets out a moan,
screams SHUT UP, DAMMIT! Now, instead of going further
down the road to Power Plant they throw a huey surrounding
BIGKOOK'S van. On any Friday, BIGKOOK retires to his
private garden at Greenhorn resting for the weekend, it
gives him time to reflect. Sleep does not come easy to him,
there is much inner reflection.. KABLAM! Something
smashes into the van's side panel. KERSPLATT! A water
balloon squishes into the windshield. A dozen kids surround
the Great White attempting a van tip-over. "HEY, YOU KIDS
GET OUT OF HERE!" BIGKOOK was livid, however, the
kids don't budge. 'KOOK says screw it, puts the van in reverse,
drives down the beach to the fisherman's settlement, All the
GROMRULES.COM scream, "Good riddance to bad rubbish".
I'll tell you, I sure wouldn't want to be at Old 'Nofre today,
that's for sure. Gawd, what's going to happen to 'KOOK,
if he gives those GROMS RULE kids too much schitt,
they just might deball him net trip. YIKES!

htp://www.cafepress.com/tubesteakorg/

Written by Doc Weiller
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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Heck, this is the last thing you 'Nofreites want to hear.
NALU MAG finished the Feb. 2006 issue, it's great.
At the wrap party they showed films of the past 100
years. I doubt if ay of you have heard of photograher,
John la Ronde of Santa Monica. His 1946 work involving
Malibu, Rincon, Ventura Overhead, was astonishing, color
and clarity intense. Here's the bad news for the "so-called
Clubbers. In 1946 there were no silly wan2bee beachomber
ivy, or grossed out bamboo that Club children can uproot for
their sword fights. 1946 was years prior to the SOSC inception.
Oh my, I wish you could see the pristine setting of San Onofre
past. There is a beautiful shack forgiven by whining kids and
tethered dogs barking at anything that moves. The sandstone cliffs
had no foliage defacing them. The "so called" regulars, the bocci-ball
crowd ruoned that poor beach with their hideous grottos, hokey
lean-tos, and unsightly BBQs, have turned SANO into an inner-city
park. What's next for them?

Written by Lois Lane
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES
'so called"regulars

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We couldn't believe our eyes, so we're taking a trip
to downtown L.A. to see where or ta dollars go. The
van stops at Alameda and Temple where we get off
for our walk along Broasway, to 6th St. then to
Alvarado and Bixel to LaFayette Park for the Hispanic
victorty celebration for the Mexicans over the Austrians.
Two more days for the magazine than back to normal.
Remember the old saying, will the last person leaving
L.A., please bring the American Flag.

Writter by Govner Reagrossa
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

MAGAZINE TIME. STAND BY!

Written by Josef Hyman.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

MAGAZINE TIME. STAND BY!

Written by Josef Hyman.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

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The nicest guy on the beach is THEBIGKOOK, he's
San Onofre's "go to guy". Yesterday 'KOOK was
preparing safety checks for the fellows at the beach,
blinker bulb installation and side mirror adjustment,
especially for MT. While walking down from latrine
#4, onr of those Haw'n handed him an Arby's for the
Aloha Spirit. 'KOOK fresh out of Trick or Treat candy
took him up on it. swinging his work tools with one hand,
he took a huge bite out of the sandwich, which burst a
huge glob if blood oozing down 'KOOK'S arm that a
black Mexican Lab went after like there was no tomorrow.
BIGKOOK, taken back, dropped his little tool chest, worse
the Arby blood rare sandwich. He reached inside MT's car,
pulled out a new San Onofre 50th Anniversary Tee,
swabbed up the blood ruining the Tee. 'KOOK screamed
what is stupid animal doing on this beach for Chrissake.
The Mexican Lab's owner runs to get her dog, and
BIGKOOK screams at her, she looks at him and says,
"What I'm I supposed to do, stupid, take him to the kennel?"

Written by Jorge Sanchez Macias
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES