Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

Oh, boy! Just returned fro m Old 'Nofre and couldn't believe
my eyes. Yup, there she sat when we drove up,
a fortyfooter Bahama Motor Home parked parallel smack
dab in the middle of Point Surfride. Tethered to the ocean
side of the luxurious- land yacht, two dozen dogs howling, yelping,
baying at anything that moved . After they quieted the barking
animals, here come the relatives with dopey looking kids and the
plastic wading pool. Uncle Clarance hooked a green vinyl plastic hose
to fill the wading pool, which alerted the thirsty mutts to "come and
and get it". The pools filled with water, Uncle Clarence pulls from the
fortyfooter a couple of spades, hands them to the children, announces
the kid who digs the most shellfish with the letter "R" in the name (ap*R*il)
gets to ride with Unc' when he goes fo Tony's for the beer. You could hear
them praising the State for paving the sorry old dirt road, eliminating the
excruciating, bumpy, ride for motor homes. With all the horseschitt signs
there ain't none warning the public to avoid clams and mussell during
"R* months.

Writtrn by Joe "Midget" Schlump
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

If you have to ask, you can't afford the place.

The price of your favorite pastime is going right through the roof.
Everyone's snickering about tho price of oil but something you
novices don't know crude oil is higher than high. This summer
minimum price for a ready to buy board will jump to $2,500.00
with no end in sight. Ranger Dairywimple assured us admission to
the beach will cost $20.00 per day use, Annual passes are a thing of
the past. One good thing Tony's Market will be issued a commercial
pass to sell his wares at Pt. Surfride and it will be the only no-charge
pass to be issued at San Onofre this year. It seems incomprehensible that
the SOSC BOD thinks fuel prices will stabilize soon, but Dairywimple
says the BOD are dreaming. Ephriam the Ranger said we should be
thankful Tony Farms was issued roach-coach was given the free pass
in order to conserve fuel. Surfboard center strip glue, resin, sex wax
Coleman Stove fuel, all these things will add up. Yesterday a club
member said he paid $210.00 from the South Bay to Old
Nofre. He said that's it for him, he'll surf El Porto this summer.
Unless the SOSC can subsidize me I'm staying put.

Written by I.M.Broke.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES

Be a part of Surf History--Now!

Well surfers, time has come for your input for San O nofre's name change.
As you may, or may not, know the Foothill Toll Road Project (FTRP)
as been approved for immediate construction. Depletion of the San Mateo
Campground begins 7/1/2005, with the San Mateo bean fields dug up
beginning 8/1/2005. FTRP exits OC at San Mateo Pt. Coast Guard Station
at the planned six level interchange annihilating Trestles, Cotten's Pt.,
Inner's, Outter's, Church's, Pt. Surfride, Old Men's, and Trail Six, continuing
its journey to the Mexican Border. Interstate 5 is completely overpowered by
traffic from Sam Ysidro to Simi Valley. Some suggestions for a name is
Clemente Island, County Line, Tijuana Parkway, Pendleton Express Way,
International Connector, Caesar Chavez Interchange, to name a few. Winner
will be issued a Annual Pass for year 2007. The Seate does noy wish to
inconvenience any surfers, but it suggests you contact your beach Pastor
for guidance.

Written by Simon La Gree.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES