August 28, 2004 Things are going smooth. So far.

Announcer Hal:
Well, Surfer Craig, it seems Lenny has his work cut out. On line 3 is Scooter
Boy Roy.

Roy:
Thank you for taking my call, Surfer Craig, I'm a long time listener, a second
time caller. My problem is every time I go to Beach 'Nofre my car gets stlolen.
The Lifeguards and Rangers kinda' give me that "tough totems" look and tell
me to call the Vista Sheriff's Department, which us nice, but with all the new
cellular activity I can't get an outside line. It seems when you drive down the
"Road to Bizzare" it looks like a Target parking lot, eveyone's yapping like
magpies.

Surfer Craig:
Oh, boy, Roy, you could have a problem. Let me ask you, what kinda' ride do,
or did, you have?

Roy:
Surfer Craig, it was a cherried out Deuce Coupe, burple, with red, yellow, and
orange, cowl flames, louvered hood, Frenched headlights, purple well
lights, tuck and roll, chopped, channeled, dago to the weeds, I mean,
Surfer Craig, it was a fine, fine, superfine, three window short.

Surfer Craig:
Sounds tough, Roy. I'll bet you had RF painted by "Daddy"Roth and
pin stripe by VonDutch. It sure sounds Boss. We here at KRSO
sure hope you get it back. That should stick out like missing thumb.

Roy:
Right on, Surfer Craig. Well, thanks for hearing my story, I'll call in if
I find it. Now Ivé got to out to the empty garage and work on my Weber
ten footer. Later!

Written by Sano Dano, Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

August 26, 2004 "ON THE AIR"

Announcer Hal Dairywimple opens the original "Surfer Craig" Show in
KRSO's modern new radio studio. In house are Hal, OfficerBob Krupki,
engineer and screener, and, of course, our own "Surfer Craig" as host.

Hal:
Good morning caller, welcome to the show, you're on with "Surfer Craig".

Caller Lenny:
Hello "Surfer Craig", my name is Lenny, thank you for taking my call.
I'm having problems understanding "goofy foots" and regular foots.
Like, at Trestles when I go right, because of my foot placement, I face the
wave and people don't say nothing to me, does that mean I'm regular foot,
or what?

"Surfer Craig":
Good morning Lenny, welcome to KRSO'S Premium Surfing Talk Show. Now,
Lenny, what happens when you go left, like at Salt Creek?

Caller Larry:
I don't know, Surfer Craig, all I can say is it feels real goofy, like I have some
sort of palsy or something like that. When I go to the Creek, they all laugh
and point there finger at me. What's a body to do?

Surfer Craig:
I once knew a marvelous surfer, Butch vanArtsdalen who had the same
problem but overcame it by surfing the treacherous Banzai Pipeline, by
switching foot every other wave until he mastered it. Tell me, Lenny, is there
a break near you where you could go left all day long and switch foot?

Caller Larry:
Why yes, there is. It's called Mavericks after a 1950's TV series of the same
name, but it does great mean and gnarly, but I'll surf it every day till
I master the switch stance. Which is good, Surfer Craig, then no matter
what, I'll never be goofy again. Thank you, Surfer Craig.

Surfer Craig:
You're welcome, Larry, and good surfing to you.

Hal:
Next caller, please.

Written by Starwarz, Produced and Drected by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES
































trestles

August 26, 2004 We told you so.

It had to happen, and it did, the State of California placed an order for fifty
bullet proof vests for Rangers and Lifeguards to wear effective 1/1/2005.
Threats to on-duty Rangers have risen threefold this past year by
non-surfing insurgents from inland communities, seeking a safe haven
for alcohol and controlled substance abuse. The whole thing started this
morning at "Stone Zone" when someone nearly took out BIGKOOK'S white
van with a deadly terrorist grenade launcher obviously imported by a outlaw
group. Thank goodness it missed the van, but went on to destroy the remaining
unsightly, rusted, metal table and chairs, adjacent to BIGKOOK'S sump which
has become mosquito infested because of a clog in the raw sewage that flows
into the shorebreak, where many young, helpless, children play. Regional
Supervisor Otto Schnabel will arrive this afternoon to assess the damage and
see if a solution is possible. Meanwhile Super'tenant Dairywimple and Ranger
Ephriam are on leave of absence from the system to fulfill their commitment
to Radio San Onofre (KRSO) and their talk show.

Written, Produced, and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

August25, 2004 All day praying.

Just trying to get on with our life.

Written by Tiki MATT.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES

August 23, 2004 It's a boy.

Out to lunch, literally.

Written, Produced, and Dtrected by BIGKOOK.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES