August 26, 2004 We told you so.

It had to happen, and it did, the State of California placed an order for fifty
bullet proof vests for Rangers and Lifeguards to wear effective 1/1/2005.
Threats to on-duty Rangers have risen threefold this past year by
non-surfing insurgents from inland communities, seeking a safe haven
for alcohol and controlled substance abuse. The whole thing started this
morning at "Stone Zone" when someone nearly took out BIGKOOK'S white
van with a deadly terrorist grenade launcher obviously imported by a outlaw
group. Thank goodness it missed the van, but went on to destroy the remaining
unsightly, rusted, metal table and chairs, adjacent to BIGKOOK'S sump which
has become mosquito infested because of a clog in the raw sewage that flows
into the shorebreak, where many young, helpless, children play. Regional
Supervisor Otto Schnabel will arrive this afternoon to assess the damage and
see if a solution is possible. Meanwhile Super'tenant Dairywimple and Ranger
Ephriam are on leave of absence from the system to fulfill their commitment
to Radio San Onofre (KRSO) and their talk show.

Written, Produced, and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer.
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES