OH, THIS IS THE WORST OF THE WORST. City News Service released,

over the wire, and KFI News 640, a lone mountain cycler was attacked

and horribly mutilated, disemboweled, and half devoured headfirst,

in nearby Whiteman Canyon, Orange County, CA. A routine search of the

bicycle's license plate indicates the hopeless victim may have been a "Mark

Reynolds" of our own San Clemente. Santa Ana Coroners office

arrived at Rancho San Onofre, asking NeoN if he would accompany them

to the County Morgue to identify the remains. Ouch! NeoN agreed,

walked into the refrigerated holding box, walked out with tears,

shaking his head to and fro, his face ashen white, unable to

speak, collapsed down to the concrete slab. To shaken to speak,

he lay there weeping as if he'd lost his best friend. Ranger

Dairywimple arrived as an almost next of kin, asking NeoN if

he could shed light on the tragedy. NeoN gulped a hugh

breath, stopped sobbing, and told the Ranger the remains

were so mangled and half devoured he couldn't tell, but it

better not be, because Mark Reynolds owes him 50 scoots

cash.

TUBESTEAK/YIKES!