July 25 2004 Dairywimple's back, finally.

"Moe 'da Toe" shows at Ol' 'Nofre with a bro and they may have been

drinking all Friday night. Everybody welcomed Super'tenant

Dairywimple home after assignment in Cicero IL He had things pretty

easy before he left, but he returned to a changed 'Nofre. First tour of

duty he nabs Moe 'da Toe's bro trying to climb outta 'Nofre, up

the cliff. Bro gets 30' from freedom when Dairywimple pulls

it, "Freeze or your dead meat!" said Dairywimple. Bro, who's having 

problems navigating anyway panics, tumbles head over heal all the

way down "landing on 'The Road to Bizarre", does a felony prone and

is immediately hog-cuffed and escorted to Vista Jail. Meanwhile, dummies

are sitting in line dying to pay ten scoots to get into a beach full of non-beach

peep dressed like freaks and wizards. Everyone's tattooed from top to

bottom, pierced navels, ball caps reversed and goofy, baby carriages shoved

back and forth along the dirty dirt road. cars jammed helter-skelter into

non-existing parking places, full body 'toos of Bob Marley, shrieking little

five year olds, trendy homemade longboards. I think to myself, if these

clowns think they're surfers, well they have another thought coming.

People screaming at each other, arguing with kids, it seemed nothing

went right until I left and finally saw my old friend from KROQ FM,

"The Poorman" himself. Monday morning I'm going to Park Headquarters

and demand a full refund on my annual pass. Ol' 'Nofre is no longer an

important surf beach it has become public spectacle. Ol' 'Nofre died 

many years ago, and now it's finally beginning to stink.

Produced and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
TUBESTEAK/EYE QUIT