Deadline for the San Onofre Death March is today at 5:00 PM.
Don't be shut out. The Death March begins at the poor "Point",
parading along the dust filled dirt road. Entry fee for the
"March" is $35.00 per family, which includes the always popular
cherry-pit spitting contest. Ranger Ephriam will be hosting the
event. San Onofre, always the leader in beach activity, will
award the Vonzo Moronzo Gonzo Perpetual Trophy to whomever
discharges the largest spit. Children under 5 y/o will be judged
accordingly. The massive spitting will take place at urinal #5,
in front of Dogpatch. Cherris will not be provided, as Stater
Bros have them for .35 a lb.

Written by Mayor Villaregosa.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES