August 6 2004 "Special Ïn House Guest"

Welcome to Friday's Show. With us today is the glorious and special
TUBESTEAK/MALIBU talking about "Riding Giants", next issue of
Surfer's Journal, and all questions about our wonderful pastime of surfing.
Today's show's a little different where the format will be live, no seven
second delay until the live phone calls take place shortly into the program.
Without further adieu, here's your host Dr. Craig Ephriam. I'm Hal
Dairywimple.

Thank you for being on our humble show, I guarantee we are not worthy.
Maybe not, but Webly Edwards and Hilo Hattie would've loved this," said
TUBESTEAK, "what a super set up you two have, a radio show right
on the beach, pretty snazzy. How did I receive the nom de surf
TUBESTEAK, you ask? Great question Dr. Craig. When I first went
to Malibu years ago I was penniless unemployed, and constipated. The only
position available was across from the pier at a small bistro called
Tube's Steak and Lobster house. I landed the job as third assistant
mater dei. After many name revisions I became known as Tube's Steak,
later to become one word TUBESTEAK. Your in town for "Riding Giants"
that's a nice bit you have in there, isn't it called the "Royal Haw'n?"
Sure is Dr. Craig. In the late 50's at Malibu we became rather unamused
by all the noseriding, so Moondoggie, Whitewater, and I invented the
Roy'l Haw'n adding a few rules, just to put the fun back in surfen', forty
four years later it pops in Greg Nolls bit in "Riding Giants", goofy as it is,
it goes hand in hand with those insane big wave guys. Actually, except for a
very few such as Greg[Noll], Ricky[Grigg], none of those guys are ballet dancers.

Dr. Craig asked, didn't you get your start down here at 'Nofre? Sure did Dr. Craig,
and another great question, if I may add, said TUBESTEAK. Another thing, Dr.
Craig, we've done is a DVD for Malibu Shirts Inc. depicting how difficult it is
nowadays to become a bona-fide legend. It's a mosaic of Legends from
Moondoggie, Kemp Aaberg, Linda Benson, Bob Simmons, Dale Velzy,
and that ilk. But the good thing is how many of you wan2bee legends
have heard of Rip Rowan, Yo Yo Yeager, and Shorty McWilliams?

Did you know Dr. Craig, you have a wonderful surf beach here at ' Nofre,
said TUBESTEAK, you should've been here during her golden years,
multitudes of fish, no parking problems, reef filled with abalone, clams,
mollusks, the only pooch, Corkey, belonged to the 'Nofre leader Hammerhead.
'Nofre then looked as if it were Hawaii transplanted. Hammerhead truly
was a legenday figure, unfortunately Fritz "Magitz" Watson, the great 'late
take-off' artist has been too often neglected, but I'm here to say he was the best.

I've noticed a lot of "Paddle Outs" lately, seems as though they're dropping
like flies. The first morbid funeral on the beach I attended was for a great
guy, Jack White, friend of all. Like, who's next? People don't want to
admit it but 'Nofre invented "burials at sea", or so they say. Although, I'm
from Malibu, I've always loved coming hear for Hammerhead's famous
surf sacrifices. As a tiny boy, I was always enchanted by the smell of
fresh horse meat grilled on freshly gathered firewood, then washed down with
a sturdy Sanka--poho. That vodka and wine sure drove those gals nutz.
It might be the only wisp of the old days remaining are EJ Oshier and
Gene Peterson.

Time is up, I must leave. Do I get a parting gift or what. If so I hope it's
not one of those one sided 'Nofre 50th yearbooks. I want to stay for that dame's
makeover, but she's with your hairdresser, Andre, and the two of them
a doing a number on that Gallo Sweet Vermouth. See you later fellas',
thanks a load.

Produced, Written, and Directed by NeoN D. Surfer
BRUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES