August 4 2004 Censorship prevails

Hal Dairywimple:
Good morning, listeners. Yesterday we had an unfortunate incident
involving a listener from Taleaga Heights. Because of this we were
reprimanded by the FCC, and forced to carry our show with a
seven second delay. Taleaga Tilly's husband, although, seriously
but not mortally wounded is recovering in the ICU section of our
local hospital.Good morning, Dr. Craig. I know you're ready for our
first caller, Veronica from Santa Monica.

Dr. Craig:
Thanks so much Hal. Hi, Veronica, welcome to the show. From where
in Santa Monica are you calling?

Veronica:
Thank you for taking my call, Dr. Craig, I'm a long time listener,
second time caller. I'm talking cellular from the pier in Santa
Monica.

Dr. Craig:
Sounds fun. What are you doing on the pier in Santa Monica

Veronica:
Playing my harmonica.

Dr. Craig:
How can we help you today, Ronnie, can I call you Ronnie?

Veronica:
You can. I heard your show yesterday and that Taleaga Trollop
bugged the hell out of me. So what's the big deal being married
to the "sardine king", like, who died and left her queen? She oughtá'
come down here and spend some time with these geeks that hang
out at this stinking pier. Then she'll be thankful she has the "king".
I don't why she tried to take out Mr. "Sardine", but she pulls that
up here and she's dead meat.

Dr. Craig:
Oh, that's awful, Ronnie. The way I heard it, she was the victim
of ongoing physical abuse, unable to control her hubby, Mr.
"The Sardine King".

Veronica:
Abuse, shabuse. Get real Dr. Craig.

Dr. Craig:
I see this conversation is disturbing you, Ronnie.

Ronnie
You're darn tooten. Dr. DooGood. I've had it with you, your screener,
and this whole schlameil.

Dr. Craig gives Hal the high sign, pulling his right index finger
across his throat, signaling time to hit the yellow cough button.


Hal Dairywimple:
"...and the news was brought to you by...." Are you ready for our next
caller Dr. Craig, he's from right here at San Onofre his name is Herod.
Good morning Herod, that's an unusual name, sorta' Biblical.

Herod:
Yeah, whatever. I think you know my Mom, Joeleen the Dairy Queen.
She's hanging around he new boy friend, he's a real pain in the
you know what.

Dr. Craig
How may we help you, son, like what's your mom and her new hunk
up to nowadays?

Herod:
Her new guy is nuts. His name is Khalid Abdul Salin, you can't barely
understand him, all he does is run naked in the townhouse eating
avocados and power bars, yelling he's going to catch me and stick
that horrible thing in me. It looks like a disfigured 'au natural'
anteater. I don't like him, Dr. Craig.

Dr. Craig:
YIKES! Where's Joeleen when all this goes on?

Herod:
All she does is lie in bed yelling at Khalid to get in bed with her,
and leave me alone.

Dr. Craig:
Do you have a revolver in the townhouse, and do you know how
to point it and shoot?

Herod:
Yes.

Dr. Craig:
Never mind. Does Desiree still live across the street? Uh, Oh,
I'm getting a signal from screener Hal Dairywimple which means
today's program is coming to an end, Herod.

Off Air.

Produced, Written, and Directed by NeoN D. SuRfeR
TUBESTEAK/OMSBUDSMAN


































































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