DATELINE SAN ONOFRE CA 4/10/2004 PRIORITY 08:00 PDT

LEFT THIS MORNING FOR MY SURF. Ranger Dairywimple ordered all in coming traffic halted at the by pass area. Pastor Andrew's estranged wife, Shirley, her sister Martha, read in the "Norco Clarion" regarding the money maker at San Onofre this Easter Sunday. "What permit?" said Shirley, the estranged wife. "He and his girlfriend, Bambee, filed on 3/1/2004, State rules say 'say first come, first served, sorry Ma'am," said Dairywimple. "Oh, Hogwash," said Shirley, "Her name ain't Bambee, that's godamm Jolene the Queen." Ranger Dairywimple sensing trouble, called Deputy Ephriam for back up. "Well, Ma'am, it is Easter Weekend, there's nothing we can do until Monday," said Dairywimple."Well, we'll godamm see about that," said Shirley. "What seems to be the problem, Ranger?" said Deputy Ephriam. "That jackass Pastor and his pissey wife are trying to bilk me on this Easter Parade, and I don't like it one bit," said Shirley. "Bambee is not the Pastors wife, she is merely one of the flock," said the Deputy. "Bambee, horsefeathers, her name's Jolene the Queen," said Martha. Ranger and Deputy exchanged glances. "Close down the beach except for the Sunrise Services," said Dairywimple, "until further notice."
TUBESTESTEAK/QUARENTINE