MAYBE RANGER DEPUTY EPHRIAM TOOK THE WRONG DAY FOR HIS PERSONAL HOLIDAY.
San Onofre Ranch was topsy-turvy yesterday, Ranger Dairywimple and Intern Cadet Leonard, were called into action when Kiosk Governor, Donn, called in sick. By the time Dairywimple arrived upstairs Code 3 was in effect. "Shut down the line--No One In! Open the "circulacion by-pass line". No more cars in until future notice. Thanks to Ranger Cadet Ephriam and Absentee Kiosk Governor, Donn, San Onofre Ranch faced its first major crises of the summer. Yes, I have a non-revocable California Golden Bear Pass, was allowed immediate entrance to the "ancient dirt road", but thanks to the absentee Park Representatives, Ephriam and Kiosk Donn, the beach was out of hand and control. Haw'n Surf Club 2004 had mid-beach snarled, I've never seen tempers so short. Even BIGKOOK refused to venture down there. Ranger Cadet, Ephriam has a perpetual parking spot reserved at the "Bamboo Room". but that was swallowed up by a Land Schooner, forty one feet in length, filled with adolescents, barking dogs, cell phones and wanna-bee Young Urban Professionals, from Temeculah Ranch of all places. The doors of the Land Schooner swung open releasing nine disoriented uncontrollable, snapping, unfamiliar animals who went to work growling and snarling, making it uncomfortable for all tranquility seeking beach go-ers. Naturally, the dog's owners barricaded themselves in the Schooner, oblivious to the ruckus animals, yapping on their cell phone. Members of the SOSC BOD turned their cheek, not wanting to offend prospective club members. But, the highlight of the afternoon was O'Riley found himself a new bitch and they took off where O'Really was eaten alive, head first, and died. Funny part, all this takes place beneath the "No Dogs On Beach" sign. One great thing regarding yesterday, I'm never returning to that poor immitation of the Colorado River.
TUBESTEAK/OUTRO