Headline after headline after headine.

The new Pontiff will be anti San Onofre, so be on your
best behavior. Ranger Hal Dairywimple is Vatican City's
representative known for his "The new broom sweeps clean"
tactics. Down here at Old 'Nofre Hal has 100% record and it
appears he will need it as SUMMER 2005 rolls around. SOSC
BOD just ain't happy with Ranger Dairywimple's appointment of
THEBIGKOOK as Ranger Ephriam's replacement beginning June
30, 2005. Ranger Ephriam will conduct his "cute" little vendor's
trailer "bulky tee shirt sales" up on top located at the ingress and
egress section of the holding line and he will act as liaison between
the SOSC and Donn the Gatekeeper. It was discovered this morning any
and all Commeritive that shirts will go rise from $25.00 to $40.00.
As far as BIGKOOK concerned San Onofre is dead meat and
the 'KOOK'S going to bury it. So long SOSC, I think your BOD
is going "bye bye car. Now you have Rude Rudy, Terry Beard,
and the Point Surfride, patrolling San Onofre State Beach with
their bull horns blaring there shall be no more Club Luaus, Surf
Contests, saving parking places for friends. Plus, no more Paddle
Outs for Burials at Sea. Nothing, nada, zilch. San Onofre asked for it
and they got it. Doheny State Park Surfing Club may be called in as
surfing consultants. Good news, the bid for paving the road was
awarded to PAVING THE WAVE Asphalt and Tar Co.

Written by Sam & Johnny B. Goode
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES