SPECIAL WEATHER WARNING ISSUED 9/7/2004

Profit Sableau, Clairvoyant that he is, issued a horrifying prediction
involving south Orange County, San Mateo Creek in particular. Sableau's
confidence is high that sometime this month, upstream San Mosquito
Dam will burst, sending bazillons of cubic feet of water and a wall of mud
crashing through the Creek, sweeping hundreds of unwary campers,
surfboards, backrests, bogggie-boards, and tear-drop trailers, to a tragic,
and watery grave, sucked out to sea at nearby shark infested "Lowers".
Sableau indicates the inevitably but it's exact date is unclear, only
September, 2994. A temporary morgue and chapel will be available at
San Onofre Surfrider Beach beneath the palm-frond shack. This warning
comes as a PSA from California State Park System.

END OF FLOOD WARNING EMERGENCY SYSTEM 0730 9/7/2004

As a precaution all middle aged surfers will wear colored life-preservers in
case of an emergency during this weekend's contest and all are advised to
wear heavy duty safety-leashes.

Written by Harry Beard and the National Weather Service
BUCE SAVAGE AND ASSOCIATES