Yet another real life shark scare at The 'Nofre.
A bulletin sat on Ranger Harold Dairywimple's inbox,
it wasn't good news. This morning's air was heavy with
the smell of plankton. Plankton is shark food. They are
compelled to attack anything, and everything, in sight,
especially surfboard riders with pasty white legs
dangling from his longboard. Regardless of the species,
sharks will gobble you up then deposit your remains on the
ocean floor. How ungodly to be treated like that. Spending
the rest of eternity as shark crap on the ocean floor. YUCK!
We don't know why sharks react like that, other than the musty
smell of barefeet. Several years back a rogue Bull Shark
attacked a skim boarder, knocking him from his vehicle, slowly
gobbling him up head first, then, get this, regurgitating
the half eaten torso at the waist. It was gruesome alright,
especially when a huge familia of 18, mother, father, abuela,
and all the ninos were wading in shallow water within ten feet of
the bloody attack. I think that may have sent them back from where
they came.

Written by Larry H. Parker.
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES