DATELINE 8/9/2004 KNIGHT-RIDDER NEWS SERVICE
SAN ONOFRE YESTERDAY, WAS PRETTY AS A PICTURE SO PRETTY
Supervisor Hans Schnabel decided it would be a perfect day
for him and Trainee Karl Schultz to sort of "drop in" on
their beach. The setting sun hung over the horizon like
a Chinese lantern, orange as orange can be, the water was an
intense teal color, the surf was near perfect. It was nearing 5:00 PM when Schnabel and Schultz turned onto the "primitive
dirt road" heading toward the Power Plant.

"Shultz, this will be your assigned territory," said Schnabel,
"I know you will like it."

"Ja whol, Herr Schnabel, it is like a desert here," said Schultz.

"Ja, Schultz," said Schnabel as they cruised by Stalags #1&2.
"I want to show you the progress Ranger Ephriam has done
with the latrines," said Schnabel as he aimed their vehicle
toward Stalag 3B. They alighted from the auto, both carrying fibreglass swagger sticks, outfitted in dark brown riding
britches, brown shirts with State Park logo in the sleeve,
and shiny boots. Both carrying 9mm German Lugars. Side by side
by side they approached urinal #1 of 4.

"You do the honors, Herr Schultz," said Schnabel. For Schultz,
as a trainee, this was definitely a feather in his cap.
Schultz reached for the door handle, swung it ajar, let out
a gasp as the door opened exposing the Giant Beast Ranger
Ephriam had shoved in, awaiting the coroners report.

"Ach, himmel," shouted Schnabel as he pulled his Luger,
emptying the clip into the lifeless Beast.

"Vas is los," said Schultz.

"Schultz, go to the vehicle, bring the bullhorn immediately,"
said Schnabel. Schultz sprinted to the vehicle, pulled the
bullhorn, sprinted back to the latrine where the Giant
Beast had now slumped on the concrete face down. Schultz
handed the bullhorn to Schnabel. Schnabel clicked it on.

"Attention Ranger Ephriam, report to latrine #1B on
the double, that means Now!" shouted Schnabel.

TUBESTEAK/UH-OH