CHICAGO MIKE SHOWS YESTERDAY AM for a restful winter day at 'Nofre.

But that was going to be short lived. THEBIGKOOK does not like agitation,

especially at 9:00 AM, Sundays. "Chicago" parks his aluminum Silver

Cloud" deluxe motor home with a "Sky Box" view right beside

BIGKOOK'S "Great White Van" opposite Bldg. #6, the central toilet

station in front of the "Bamboo Forest". I hope I haven't lost you.

You'd think this was the beginning of an epic day. BIGKOOK is in his

favorite lounge chair trying to nod off, there's not a sound on the

beach--total silence. That's when it hit the fan. Bounding along

the "primitive dirt road", yelling at the top of his lungs, is this

midget, except he really wasn't a midget, per se, he was a double

amputee. Stumped an inch below his knees. I've seen this guy before

at Venice Beach and he's a real "freak show". He spots BIGKOOK

beneath a bamboo shoot and starts yelling at 'KOOK.

"What the hell are you doing asleep on a beautiful Sunday

morning? Get up sleepy head!", said the midget. THEBIGKOOK,

sound asleep, opens his peepers, the first thing he sees

are these two stumps bound in leather pads, it was as if BIGKOOK

was looking at an elephant's foot. The midget insists on screaming.

THEBIGKOOK yells, "Shut up. You got a big nose and a big mouth, I

don't need this." The midget says, "Listen Mr.BIG HOT, I challenge

you to a surfing contest next weekend." BIGKOOK looks at the

amputated legs and says, "You gotta be kidding. Are you a goofy stump

or a regular stump?" The midget answers, "Parallel stump, chump."

"Deal," says BIGKOOK. So as it stands now, the surfing challenge

between THEBIGKOOK and the double amputee is on for sure

next weekend. Stay tuned.

TUBESTEAK/YOU'RE*PULLING MY *LEG