HEAT SHEETS ARE OUT KID 'N BRO TOP SEED OVERALL
PRE-CONTEST WEATHER AND SURF UPDATE ON LINE
WEATHER HOT 'N GLASSY WAVES BREAKING OUT TO SEA
TERRIBLE STORM SURGE GUARANTEES THREE DAY SWELL
The Hobie Classic is a definite go this Saturday and Sunday
Yeah! Well alright, Summer's officially here. Brother Allan Seymour
officially kicks it off with the "Tenth Annual Hobie San Onofre Classic"
at good Ol 'Nofre this Saturday and Sunday. The heroic combatants,
easily a Calvacade of Legends, the Marquis reads like a "Who's Who" ,
featuring the likes of The Kid n'Bro", Tommy "Gun" Metzger, Al Bee,
Teenie-Weenie, awaiting Henry Ford's announcement of, "Good morning, San
Onofre" for the first heat into the water. Before I forget, the new issue
of Marty Sugarman's "H2O" is at the newsstand, featuring Kemp
Aaberg, Benito "il Duce" Mussolini, and Bruce Savage's "Memorial Day 1960".
The "ancient primitive dirt road", looking as it did when George Freeth,
Senator Luton, and Duke Kahanamoku, first discovered Old 'Nofre
back in 1915. We're gonna' be there early so in case they have a
world famous "paddle out" I can watch it while eating breakfast.
BIGKOOK drives his rusted "Great White Van" up to Santa Ana
later today to pick up 320 fresh tamales for the contestants lunch
Written by Enrique Morales "Chato" Gomez
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES
58 Comments:
Kool
uH, YeaH...i'M KiNDa NeW HeRe, oNLY BeeN HeRe a CouPLe TiMeS. SoMeoNe ReCoMMeNDeD THiS SiTe To Me. aNYWaY, i THiNK iT'S aBSoLuTeLY HiLaRiouS aND, FoR THe MoST PaRT, WeLL-WoRDeD, BuT i aLSo THiNK THaT You CouLD GeT YouR PoiNT aCRoSS eQuaLLY WeLL WiTHouT THe VaST aMouNTS oF PRoFaNiTY. DoN'T GeT Me WRoNG, i aDMiT THaT SoMeTiMeS THaT DoeS aDD HuMoR, BuT iT'S aLSo RaTHeR oFFeNSiVe aND DoeSN'T eNCouRaGe Me To CoMe BaCK aNYMoRe. i THiNK THe WoRKMaNSHiP oN THe PaGeS iS GooD, THouGH, aND You GuYS SeeM To Be ReaLLY SHaRP, eNouGH So THaT You DoN'T NeeD To CuSS To Be FuNNY. THaNKS!
UUHHH what, I don't have a clue what you are talking about. i have no stories. you are just a dork. You are far from an elequent speaker also, you talk like a child, you are a fatty, fatty, blah blah blah, pretty mature dude. Anyways i hope someday you mature and realize how lame you are being. I doubt i will be wasting my time with you any further.
If you're so sick of getting letters about your terrible and inexcusable spelling, why don't you fix it? For people as brilliant as you claim to be, you sure are dumb.
The Speller
I dance if like char it, then no!
If a cow chews taste, has!
Car of the sun who speak?
No wild diversion there.
Amused it char of you, pagination you are like the amiable toy of the dance.
Jump! If fly of the cat of dinosaur, you also!
Like of heart, it cuts.
I beg to difr, the spllng is fne.
Dear Dr. Tubesteak,
My son came home with a rash. What should I do?
I came home with a rash too.
A note of explanation:
Some of you may be wondering what, exactly, all of these anonymous crackpot posts have to do with each other. And I don't blame you. The answer isn't immediately obvious. In fact, it's startling, embarrassing, and not just a little scary.
ALL OF THESE POSTS CAME FROM THE EXACT SAME PERSON.
Sad, but true. Actually, sad, true, and very, very funny. Schizophrenic much? I get the feeling that there will be more of these in the days to come, so stay tuned.
To say that all these anonymous logs, are from the same writer.... senor, is seemply not true.
of the 11 comments, there are 2-8 contreebutors. Look at the varying writing styles, and you will see that there is more than just one kook among us.
Could be eet ees just me and NeoN.
but that would make NeoN look seelly, and unmask him as the meesunderstood Voice of Reason.
ahhhh, let me tell you a little story about a masked man...
...seems the lone ranger was at ol nofre fighting the taleganites with BK. The lone ranger gets caught and tied to some timber bamboo. tonto the indian arrives too late to help, but hears the lone ranger calling out to him for a posse. tonto goes back to town, and then to that place where the guys from pendleton might go for uhh you know back rubs. tonto arrives at nofre in bk's van full of the girls, and a fresh attitude. the lone ranger loses it completely screaming, I told you to get a posse, stupid. you know what a posse is ...I said posse
So, you can see the logs are anonymous and we get to wear a mask for a little while.
And me, I am a masked man looking for posse.
You're all nutz!
What's that kemosabe?
Dear Dr. Tubesteak,
The rash has worsened, please advise.
“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.” ~ Carl Jung
I accept that all the posts came from me.
Now, how do I change that?
Ok, I am working on accepting that all the posts came from me, but it will take time.
rock and roll never forgets.
OK.
If I am the only one posting here and I alone posted all these posts, tell me this:
What am I thinking right now?
You are thinking that you may have a mental illness.
And it is a good sign that you considering this question.
Now I am . . .
Scared, right?
Scared.
you were just thinking of contacting me, and we start with the margaritas.
!viva la revolucion!
!arriba guererro!
Hola, amigo. Will there be free food at the contest thos weekedn?
Hey Tube!
ever thought of marketing your own "tubetops" with your picture on the belly, looking up?
I'll bring the left overs Jesus.
You'll be there with the BOD, si?
You'áll are taking advantage of this comment page. Stop it know, you'll are making me sick to my stomach.
Read what I just rote.
Loking up at himself.
Now that is some funny shit.
Cut that out Knuts.
I know where you sleep
. . . in the little dark corner of my mind.
Al Gee!
Help!
Hmmmmm *tapping microphone*
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Ricardo has left the building.
What's that Lassie?
Does anyone remember that guy who drove the rusty old van? He was really tall. He wore glasses and had great laugh.
Is it wrong to like tubesteak?
BK drives a rusty old van.
No, older than BK.
from 60s.
But he drives a rusty van, isn't that close enough?
I guess, but I just don't picture him in a thong.
Dear Dr. Tubesteak,
The rash has gone away. Thank you for you help.
Man Who Stand On Toilet High On Pot
Tubesteak:
I'm here at the beach.
Where are you?
Crappy surf.
Contest seems kinda slow moving.
Forgot my car adapter to recharge my blackberry. Got to go back to get it.
Power running down.
Where are you?
I had to stop at Chuckie Cheese for pizza.
You guys are too much. Chunckier Cheese for pizza, now, why didn't
I think of that?
BeFoRe Me WaS a GReaT MuLTiTuDe THaT No oNe CouLD CouNT, FRoM eVeRY NaTioN, TRiBe, PeoPLe aND LaNGuaGe, STaNDiNG BeFoRe THe THRoNe aND iN FRoNT oF THe LaMB. THeY WeRe WeaRiNG WHiTe RoBeS aND WeRe HoLDiNG PaLM BRaNCHeS iN THeiR HaNDS…THeSe aRe THeY WHo HaVe CoMe ouT oF THe GReaT TRiBuLaTioN; THeY HaVe WaSHeD THeiR RoBeS aND MaDe THeM WHiTe iN THe BLooD oF THe LaMB…[He] WiLL Be THeiR SHePHeRD; He WiLL LeaD THeM To SPRiNGS oF LiViNG WaTeR. aND GoD WiLL WiPe aWaY eVeRY TeaR FRoM THeiR eYeS. (ReV 7:9,15,17)
All you clowns scare me...I don't don't like it...Pease stop...
Roger, Roger.
Ni.
Frankly, I don't give a Damn.
You suffer needlesly from Coulrophobia.
I can help.
Approach me slowly.
I am friendly.
Do you want a lolly pop?
check this guy out..
clownophobia.com his pics and forums are funny.
Tube, when are we going to get a new update?
dont worry about the klown(s) with their simple comments. That is a sign of success.
I think I was the best baseball player I ever saw. - Willie Mays
THe aNGeLS aMoNGST uS.
BaRe FooT aND DiRTY, THe GiRL JuST SaT aND WaTCHeD THe PeoPLe Go BY.
SHe NeVeR TRieD To SPeaK, SHe NeVeR SaiD a WoRD. MaNY PeoPLe PaSSeD, BuT NeVeR DiD oNe PeRSoN SToP.
iT JuST So HaPPeNS THe NeXT DaY i DeCiDeD To Go BaCK To THe PaRK, CuRiouS iF THe LiTTLe GiRL WouLD STiLL Be THeRe.
RiGHT iN THe VeRY SPoT aS SHe WaS YeSTeRDaY SHe SaT PeRCHeD oN HiGH, WiTH THe SaDDeST LooK iN HeR eYeS.
ToDaY i WaS To MaKe MY oWN MoVe aND WaLK oVeR To THe LiTTLe GiRL. aS We aLL KNoW a PaRK FuLL oF STRaNGe PeoPLe iS NoT a PLaCe FoR YouNG CHiLDReN To PLaY aLoNe.
aS i BeGaN WaLKiNG ToWaRDS HeR i CouLD See THe BaCK oF THe LiTTLe GiRL'S DReSS iNDiCaTeD a DeFoRMiTY. i FiGuReD THaT WaS THe ReaSoN THe PeoPLe JuST PaSSeD BY aND MaDe No eFFoRT To HeLP.
aS i GoT CLoSeR, THe LiTTLe GiRL SLiGHTLY LoWeReD HeR eYeS To aVoiD MY iNTeNT STaRe. i CouLD See THe SHaPe oF HeR BaCK MoRe CLeaRLY. iT WaS GRoTeSQueLY SHaPeD iN a HuMPeD oVeR FoRM. i SMiLeD To LeT HeR KNoW iT WaS oK, i WaS THeRe To HeLP, To TaLK.
i SaT DoWN BeSiDe HeR aND oPeNeD WiTH a SiMPLe HeLLo. THe LiTTLe GiRL aCTeD SHoCKeD aND STaMMeReD a Hi aFTeR a LoNG STaRe iNTo MY eYeS. i SMiLeD aND SHe SHYLY SMiLeD BaCK. We TaLKeD 'TiL DaRKNeSS FeLL aND THe PaRK WaS CoMPLeTeLY eMPTY. eVeRYoNe WaS GoNe aND We aT oNCe WeRe aLoNe.
i aSKeD THe GiRL WHY SHe WaS So SaD. THe LiTTLe GiRL LooKeD aT Me aND WiTH a SaD FaCe aND SaiD "BeCauSe i'M DiFFeReNT." i iMMeDiaTeLY SaiD "THaT You aRe!" aND SMiLeD.
THe LiTTLe GiRL aCTeD eVeN SaDDeR, SHe SaiD, "i KNoW."
"LiTTLe GiRL," i SaiD, "You ReMiND Me oF aN aNGeL, SWeeT aND iNNoCeNT." SHe LooKeD aT Me aND SMiLeD, SLoWLY SHe STooD To HeR FeeT, aND SaiD, "ReaLLY?" "YeS, Ma'aM, You'Re LiKe a LiTTLe GuaRDiaN aNGeL SeNT To WaTCH oVeR aLL THoSe PeoPLe WaLKiNG BY."
SHe NoDDeD HeR HeaD YeS aND SMiLeD, aND WiTH THaT SHe SPReaD HeR WiNGS aND SaiD, "i aM. i'M YouR GuaRDiaN aNGeL," WiTH a TWiNKLe iN HeR eYe.
i WaS SPeeCHLeSS, SuRe i WaS SeeiNG THiNGS.
SHe SaiD, "FoR oNCe You THouGHT oF SoMeoNe oTHeR THaN YouRSeLF, MY JoB HeRe iS DoNe."
iMMeDiaTeLY i STooD To MY FeeT aND SaiD, "Wai T, So WHY DiD No oNe SToP To HeLP aN aNGeL?" SHe LooKeD aT Me aND SMiLeD, "You'Re THe oNLY oNe WHo CouLD See Me, aND You BeLieVe iT iN YouR HeaRT." aND SHe WaS GoNe.
aND WiTH THaT MY LiFe WaS CHaNGeD DRaMaTiCaLLY. So, WHeN You THiNK You'Re aLL You HaVe, ReMeMBeR, YouR aNGeL iS aLWaYS WaTCHiNG oVeR You.
neon is smart.
i like him.
he sees more truth than you imagine.
he would share his wax with me.
marijuana is not bad.
caring for the earth is not bad.
working hard is not bad.
caring for your family is not bad.
this religious stuff scares me.
who is hart?
PLEASE, HART, CLEAN UP YOUR NARRITIVE AS IT'S TO HARD TO READ WITH CASE CHANGES IN EVERY WORD.
{STeaLiNG FRoM THe VoiCe oF ReaSoN}
aLL THiNGS aRe DiFFiCuLT BeFoRe THeY aRe eaSY. ~~ THoMaS FuLLeR
"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."
HOLY NO SCHITT.
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