Febuary 15, 2005 Joeleene the Trailer Queen revisited.
Excerpts from Dr. Ephriam and Hal Dairywimple's "Very Best Of" Radio Show.

Things went sorta awry yesterday, doing a remote in nearby
Santiago Gulch Center to "Angel Crest Trailer Yard", home of
Joeleene the Trailer Queen's Double Wide and Visitor's
Center/Museum/ Souvenir Headquarters, all in one building.
Hal and Dr. Craig paid Joeleene a visit this morning. She lives out
Ortega Highway on the road to Elsinore, at a spot called Whispering
Chimes Trailer Yard--Mature Types Only! Joeleene the Trailer Queen
is the manager. She spotted us as we drove up the lane. Here's what
transpired.

Joeleene:
Come in fellows, soup's on. You're right on time.
[Joeleene sounded just like Dolly]

Hal:
You haven't changed a bit, darling. Do you know Dr. Craig from
KSANO AM?

Joeleene:
I sure do lover, used to hear his show up in Bakersfield. How might I be of
help?

Dr. Craig:
Were doing a feature on trashy people that reside in trailer houses.
preferably double wides here in So. Orange County.

Joeleene:
Well, you come to the right place, Hon. Would you like to con--verse
with them?

Hal:
We sure would, Joeleene, is that him coming up the path?

Joeleene:
Darn tooten', Hal. Travis Bob, c'mon over here for the radio folk. Travis
Bob don't talk too good, he sorta has a hair-lip, don't pay much attention
to him. That's his wife, Martha Sue, with him. She has a cleft palette as
you can probably make out. Travis Bob, this here's Dr. Craig.

Travis Bob:
Pleased to meet'cha, Doc. Me n'efer bin on radio show before. This's
my woman and first cousin, Martha Sue. Thay howdy Martha Thue.

Marth Sue:
Wha' you thay, Doc, howdy.

Hal:
Joeleene maybe you can show Dr. Craig and me a tour of Whispering
Chimes, if that's okay.
[Hal, Dr Craig, and Joeleene, enter the golf cart with Joeleene at the controls.]

Joeleene:
Okay, hold on to your hat, boys, we're headen' for the graveyard where my nine
husbands are put to rest. [It was a sobering effect to see those seven mounds
jutting from the grassy meadow. Joeleen took pride in her quiver of deceased,
actually talking to them individually. Travis Bob was bad, Martha Sue, the cleft
palate, was worse, but talking to a bunch of stiffs took the cake. Next stop, the
vinyl covered boomerang banana shaped fold up pool lounges.

[They pull up in front of the trailer camp commissary]

Joeleene:
You're gonna' like this old boy, Cleedus, he operates the food service here.
He specializes in things on which you don't have to chew, for example, rice
pudding, liver soup, steamed soft tofu, and mashed potato sandwiches.
These people residing here don't have a tooth in their had, all they can
do is gum everything, they're pretty thankful for Cleedus, you bet.
Here he comes, pay no attention to his missing teeth. Well, morning Cleedus
what you got cooking today?

[Joeleene sure has a sense of humor.]

Cleedus:
Well, how do fellows what can I get you today, how 'bout some soft boiled eggs
and milquetoast?

Joeleene:
We got one more stop, Cleedus. We'll take three muds to go and make ém black.

[It's getting late in the day as Joeleene takes Dr. Craig and Hal to their final stop.]

Joeleene:
Okay, this is it fellows, the Huell Howser Surf Grounds dedicated
to Huell the Jewell himself. Doesn't it take you right back to 'Nofre
or what?

Dr. Craig:
It sure does Joeleene. We're good friends with Huell, but I hope it's not like
Roy's place and Huell's got a bunch of Legends stuffed like Trigger.

Joeleene:
He does, but only one, which is okay cause he's dead.

Written by Von Chong Morand
BRUCE SAVAGE SAND ASSOCIATES