NO BODY SAID IT WAS GONNA' BE EASY. TURNING OFF I-5, the SONGS parking lot looked like a media circus, sorta' the location shots at Devil's Hole, Wyoming, where they filmed "Close Encounter's of the 3rd Kind". Marine Corps' Haz-Mat squad diverted traffic onto the holding area, allowing nobody access to the surf beach. We parked the family station wagon, walked across the asphalt parking lot to the cliff's edge, looked down at BIGKOOK'S Rain Forrest and Banana Plantation, new home of the transplanted Amorphophallus Titanium (Corpse Flower), a stenching, putrifying, foul smelling rendition of death. Corporal Rice said you'd better wear these, handing us WMD gas masks. Like Marabunta Jungle Ants,
Superintendent Dairywimple and Ranger Ephriam scurried about, jockeying for position to amputate the monster at it base, which, incidentally had grown to 25' overnight, before it was too late.
Spectators on the bluff not wearing WMD masks wretched uncontrollably, running for their vehicle to escape the odiferous fumes. Ranger Ephriam started his heavy-duty Black and Decker
death saw, revved it a few times for good luck, stepped torward
ready for action while hoping for the best.
TUBESTEAK/ATMOSPHERE