I DON'T KNOW WHO SNITCHED ON THE CLUMSY DOG, EATING EVERYONE'S food day before yesterday at San Onofre, but I'm glad they did.
Superintendent Dairywimple supplied a number of photos depicting the old beige animal going from ice-chest to ice-chest, gobbling sandwiches one after another while its "master" pretended not to notice. Within a half hour period, the oafish looking moocher had consumed twice its weight in food, wasting another twice its size in spillage. Ranger Ephriam suggested the supply a upside-down lampshade to prevent the old timer dog from eating everything in sight. It was suggested at the quorum, Bldg. #4 be transformed into a crying room for infants brought to the beach so they can scream till they're blue in the face. The State of California has indicted BIGKOOK for charges to remove the furniture out of the bushes. It seems everyone down here dislikes Talega Ranch, but try everything they can to emulate it.
TUBESTEAK/SQUEALER